“I used to dream about her, after she died. I’d dream we were out together and then I’d look over and she’d be dead, a corpse walking and laughing next to me.”

My throat feels tight—the description of his dreams is so close to my recent ones of Bella.

“You were here, though, weren’t you? When she was killed,” I say. “Sean told me. Well, he let it slip.”

He’s looking blankly at me. “No—Sean’s got that wrong. I was abroad. Working with one of Dad’s crews. I didn’t find out about it until I got back in the country.”

“But Sean said…”

“He got it wrong. Or he was lying.”

“Why would he lie?”

Jack shrugs. “Ask him, not me.”

I shake my head. “No, I think it’s you who’s lying.”

He leans toward me and grabs my arm. “What the fuck are you accusing me of? I can prove I wasn’t here, but I won’t have you going around saying shit like that, jeopardizing my marriage. My son is barely more than a baby and I have a good job, a reputation. I will not let you fuck with that.”

There’s no hint of sadness or softness left in his face. He’s all fierce rage and all my old fears are back, screaming at me to run.

I don’t expect to sleep after my confrontation with Jack, but I drift off and slip right into a dream. What’s different is this time I know I’m dreaming. I know I’m dreaming because I’m in the woods and Bella is sitting on the fallen tree by the stream where we carved our names. I know it’s a dream but it feels so real—Bella looks like she did back then but I’m not sixteen, reliving a memory. I’m me as I am now, in my pajamas, feet bare, the taste of toothpaste still in my mouth. I can smell the dankness of the stream and wet leaves, feel sharp twigs and damp mud under my feet. I can hear the trees rustling, whispering, feel the breeze on my cheeks. It doesn’t feel like a dream; I feel like I’m really here, in the woods. In the dark. I can hear Bella breathing. But I don’t know how I got here. It’s like I blinked and when my eyes opened, I was here, standing next to a fallen tree with my dead sister.

“I don’t want to be here,” I whisper, and she sighs.

“You need to remember.”