Holy moly.

I couldn’t stand the silence so I babbled, “Why are you, with, are they . . . I mean, do you see them often?”

He said languidly, “There’s nowt in it. We’re just good friends.”

How dare he imply that I was jealous of owlets! Or even interested in him. Especially after what he’d done. I started to say everything I’d stored up for him. “You . . . you . . . cad.”

He said, “Ouch, steady, next you’ll be calling me a bounder.”

I said, “That was the next thing I was going to call you.”

He laughed and said, “Bloody hell.”

I said, “Oh, you think you’re so funny, Cain. Telling, telling everyone that I—that I . . .”

Cain said, “Snogged me?”

I said, “Yes—yes, yes, that and . . .”

Cain paused and said, “That you liked it?”

I went red. Cain went on. “The thing is, Lullah, whativver I am, I know the truth. I say you liked it. And I know you did.”

I couldn’t say anything.

He said, “It’s true, in’t it? You did like it. And this is true as well: I liked it. Very much. And I’ve kissed a lot of lasses. There you are, that’s the truth.”

He moved away from the fence and came and stood over me. I looked down. He reached out a gloved hand and lifted my chin up gently so that I had to look him in the eyes. Then he smiled and for a moment looked like a young, good-looking boy.

He said, “Tha’s like some of yon deer I feed, all jittery at first, wi’ their long legs and big eyes . . . all nervy . . . dun’t know whether to come to me or not. Even tho’ they get summat nice when they do come to me.”

I could feel his warm breath on my face. It smelled of peppermint and a leafy, woody sort of smoky smell. A boy smell.

He said, “Lullah, if it means owt to thee, I didn’t mean to upset you at the gig. It’s those bloody girls hanging around—them village lasses and the Bottomlys—they do my head in. I say stuff I dun’t mean to.” He licked his lips slowly and breathed in. “And, yeah, it’s true I din’t like that posh kid telling me to leave off talking to you. Like he was summat special.”

I said, “But, Cain, you don’t even know him. And he’s always been nice to me.”

Cain laughed. “I know. I said he were a garyboy and I’m reight.”

I said, “Just because someone is nice doesn’t mean they’re weak. I like him because he makes me feel good.”

Cain said darkly, “Oh aye, and are you saying I dun’t?”

I felt a bit hot but also I wanted to stick up for Charlie. I said, “It’s nice to have good mates.”

Cain said, “I dun’t need mates. What would you want mates for?”

Then he paused and went on. “Well, I suppose I dun’t really trust anyone. Especially lasses.”