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Contents ( 33)
  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Filling my tights again
  4. Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
  5. Return of the lunatic twins
  6. Snogs ahoy!
  7. The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
  8. Boy Ambush
  9. You don’t want to do any more winking back
  10. The fire escape of desire
  11. I’ve eaten snail shells
  12. Snogging and Jazzles
  13. The magic of puppetry
  14. Return of the beast in trousers
  15. See you there, cheeky miss
  16. My inner snogger
  17. Naughty bumberskite
  18. The church bells of doom
  19. Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
  20. The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
  21. He’s got the right amount of lip
  22. Praise the knees!
  23. Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
  24. The Taming of the Tights
  25. The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
  26. Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
  27. Tallulah’s glossary
  28. Back Ads
  29. About the Author
  30. Books by Louise Rennison
  31. Credits
  32. Copyright
  33. About the Publisher

4. Ruby loves you! And Matilda is mental about you!

5. The Dobbinses are mad about you. And also just mad.

6. The twins adore you.

7. The owlets love you—they just can’t be bothered coming to see you.

8. Phil, Ben, Jack, and Charlie like you! (Which, actually, in Charlie’s case, seeing what happened to him, is pretty good.)

Flossie said, “So, as you see, that is a lot of liking-ness for one person. We haven’t even put down the maybe-like-you people, you know, your parents, brother, etc.”

Jo said, “Yes, so quickly, quickly eat your list with enthousiasmos.”

As they watched me chewing my list, I was thinking, Yes, but does Charlie like me? He said he did, but that was ages ago.

Still it was nice to be with the Tree Sisters. And I’m very happy that they care about me.

Vaisey said, “And Lullah, the Big Night Out can be when you really show Dr. Lightowler what you can do.”

I spat my list out when I walked home. I had stored it in my cheek like a hamster.

Saturday, miraculously, was nice and sunny. I woke up feeling chirpy for the first time in days. Whatever Dr. Lightowler said, other people thought I was clever and talented. My Tree Sisters loved me and that’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have made my own little family.

I thought it was a good day to go owlet-seeking with Rubes. I went to call for Ruby and Mr. Barraclough answered the door. His face brightened when he saw it was me. He said, “Hello, young man, at a bit of a loose end? Or are you miming? Is that it? Are you doing miming now?”

I said, “Mr. Barraclough, is Ruby in?”

He said, “Ruby’s taken Matilda to dog-dancing class in Little Waddle.”

Was he joking? I could never tell.

I said, “I didn’t know Matilda could do dog dancing.”

Mr. Barraclough said, “She can’t, son. She’s hopeless, but needs must when the devil drives. As a theatrical type yourself and a sensible young man of the world, you’ll realize that you have to appeal to your market.

“Most of The Iron Pies’ audience are of course hell-raisers and decadents like me sen, but there are a few family types with littluns. Littluns who might like to see a doggie dancing. So we thought Matilda can earn her keep instead of generally lying around snoozing behind the drum kit.”

Ruby’s not going to be back until four so I went off for a little wander by myself.

I might as well have a look in the barn. You never know, the owlets might still remember it and go back there. I haven’t seen them since Lullah fell off my windowsill.

It was nice out but windy. I took my hat off. I liked the feel of the wind tossing my hair around. Then it blew completely over my eyes so that I couldn’t see where I was going. I pushed it back and then the wind blew it over my face again.