Diligence said, “Not even on bread, just the marmite.”

Seth said, “Look, Dil, Eccles, Chas, be reasonable—Beverley is in no immediate danger.”

Eccles said, “What, starving her sen to death?”

Seth said, “Well, she’s safe for a good few months anyway just living on her fat bum.”

Dil said, “You cheeky get.”

The boys were laughing and Ruben said, “Well, you’re all very well covered lasses, aren’t you?”

Seth joined in. “Which can be a lovely thing to behold, girls.”

Amazingly, the Bottomly sisters seemed to think that was all right.

Ruben said, “Any road, it’s tha mother tha should be talking to. She’s the one with the bloody big gun.”

The sisters turned to go, but then Eccles said something that made me shrink back into the shadows. “It’s all that daft long streak of lard’s fault he’s not around. Sniffing around him. Dressing up in daft clothes. Everything were awreet before they came. Them Dither Hall twits. Them bloody posh lah-di-dah madams. Tekin’ our lads. Especially that Loopy Lullah or whitever she calls her sen. Beverley says she went to find Cain and Loopy Lullah were there, pushing herself up to him reight close. Mekin’ eyes at him. Fawning all over him.”

The other two sisters nodded and Dil said, “And our Beverley wrote a letter to her. So she’s had her warning. If she dun’t clear off from our lads, she knows what she’ll get.”

Ruben said, “Oooooh, you didn’t threaten to sit on her, did tha, girls? That’s bloody criminal that.”

And he and Seth started laughing as the sisters evilled them and made off.

I felt a bit of a warm feeling towards the brothers even though they are awful. But I didn’t like the “Loopy Lullah” “long streak of lard” business. Being talked about behind your back was really not nice.

I was just about to creep off when Seth said, “Bloody hell, lasses are mad. Let’s go and gie him his tea and tell him the latest news from the village of the damned.”

Ruben said, “What’s all that stuff abaht them lasses from Dither Hall? Some of em are reight fit. And what abaht thee with that big lass? Wot’s her name?”

Seth spat.

Oh, charming.

“She’s a bit of awreet, that Flossie, just the right amount of meat on her and best of all she’s not like these milky lasses round here. They get on me nerves, always moaning and saying, ‘Ooooh, I love you, you’re me boyfriend now you snogged me.’ She’s got a bloody hefty right hand as well. But she’s a cracking snogger and a good laugh. Ah might let her near me.”

Ruben laughed.

I knew I should go away. But you know when you should go away because it’d be better all round if you did . . . but you don’t?

Well, I was doing that.

Ruben said, “What’s that daft Eccles going on abaht this lanky lass for? Loopy is she called? She’s that one that looks a bit wild, black hair, green eyes with them lanky legs, isn’t she? The one that sat on the blind bloke on the bus. Our Cain’s not messing with her, is he?”