Yes, yes, I will use my Inner Man to communicate with Charlie’s Outer Man.

What do men say to each other?

You know, to their mates . . . erm . . .

I said, “Everything all right at home?”

Charlie grinned even more. “Yes, thanks. . . . All well at your end?”

I nodded. “Yes, erm, tickety-boo, thank you.”

Tickety-boo?

Then Charlie said, “Look, it’s really nice talking to you about, you know, ‘home’ and everything, but it’s all a bit prison break at Woolfe because of the Phil incident so . . . I should go back.”

I said, “Yes, yes, sorry to hold you up, it’s just that Jo wanted, you know, to know if Phil is all right.”

Charlie said, “I’ve got a note from the villain himself.” And he handed it to me.

I said, “Oh, she’ll be so happy. Thank you.”

Charlie turned to go. “It’s lovely to see you again, Lullah . . . and, well, I hope I’ll see you a lot more. Bye.” And he gave me a hug.

I flapped my arms against his back. And then gave him a thumbs-up.

I don’t know why.

Maybe I am a man.

Jo was ecstatic to get her note. She read it and said, “I’d tell you what it says, but it’s very personal and private.” We all nodded and were going off when she said, “Oh, go on then, you are my besties. Here’s a bit of what it says, I won’t go into the snogging stuff . . .

“‘Jo, you little wild love bucket, you know I had to climb the fire escape of desire to see you. But then as you also know I sadly fell through the potting shed of life and slightly bent my l—’”

Then Jo started giggling uncontrollably and said, “No, no, I can’t tell you that bit, but this is the last thing . . . ‘I’m confined to my room and under constant surveillance. I won’t go into what they’re doing to me, but it was worth it to see you.’”

I thought Jo was going to burst into tears.

She said, “I’m going to hide it under my mattress in case I’m strip-searched in tap class this afternoon.”

I said, “Jo, we are free theatrical spirits. This is not a prison camp. We’re not little kids anymore. We are nearly women and have varying amounts of corker. . . . We can’t just be bossed about by—”

Dr. Lightowler came by and shouted, “If you’ve got a spare moment to waste gossiping, you need to be running around the school. Into your PE kit, girls, and ten times round the garden walls.”

As she went, Jo said, “Yeah, good point well made, Lullah.”

On the way back to the village after college, I was walking fast. The woods were rattling with cold breezes and there were odd calls and hoots. Maybe Connie, the owlets’ mum, was out there looking for some supper for them. It looked stormy and clouds flitted across the darkening sky. I cuddled into my coat and thought about the day. Wow, plenty of boy action one way and another.