She said, “You see? Do you? How Very Entertaining that was?”

We walked on. I said, “Vaisey, what did Jack do during the holidays? How did he get in touch if you were on your wilderness thingy?”

Vaisey bounced her curls around shyly.

“Well, he sent a postcard. It was from his caravan site in Blackpool. It had a picture of a girl eating an enormous candyfloss on it. And it said, ‘Wish you were here.’”

I looked at her and she said, “That’s nice, isn’t it?”

Vaisey went on. “Oooooh, I tell you what I did do at nighttimes in our yurt. I learned to play the guitar and I used my lucky plectrum that Jack gave me. If The Jones play any gigs soon, maybe I could jam along.”

I could imagine what the Hinchcliffs would say to a girl “jamming along” to one of their songs. I laughed and said, “Yeah, you could ‘jam’ that one Cain wrote especially for Beverley Bottomly when he dumped her: ‘Put Your Coat On, Girl, You’re Leaving’ and the follow-up when he dumped her again: ‘Is It So Very Wrong to Want You Dead?’”

Jo said, “What’s happened about the Cain thing—is he still on the run, Lullah?”

I went a bit red and quickly said, “I’ve no idea. With a bit of luck he’ll just keep running.”

Flossie said, “Oh, you are sooooo unreasonable, Miss Lullah. Yes, those boys are BAAADDD, but they are so goddam handsome.”

I said huffily, “Yeah, if you like Dark Black . . . animals in trousers.”

Flossie said, “I do, as it happens.”

Vaisey was trying to be nice. “P’raps they’re just a bit misunderstood.”

I snorted. “Vaisey, do you remember that Cain got Jack to dump you because no girlfriends were allowed in The Jones? He said it was a band rule.”

Vaisey blushed.

Flossie sashayed about. “I am looking forward to seeing that bad Seth Hinchcliff again, oh and Floppy Ben. He’s not quite so floppy since Honey gave him the snogging advice.”

I said, “You’re insatiable.”

Flossie said, “I know, but remember what Honey said about boys: ‘Alwayth have one ow two on the go. Theth thafety in numbeth.’”

We walked along, thinking about lovely golden Honey in her new golden life in Hollywood. Then Flossie said, “What about you, Miss Tallulah, what did you get up to in your holidays?”

“Well, I was staying with Cousin Georgia and she told me how to do sticky eyes and showed me her snogging scale. It’s from one-quarter to ten.”3

Jo said, “Yeah so, are we going to use your cousin’s snogging scale?”

I said, “Well, it doesn’t really fit with my Lululuuuve List so . . .”

They all looked at me.

Jo said, “What’s your snogging list then?”

I wanted to tell them about Lullah’s Lululuuuve List but not everything at once, so I said, “Er, well, I’ve written it down and I was going to bring it in . . . but I forgot because . . . I got a threatening letter!”