Back The Taming of the Tights Save as PDF
Contents ( 33)
  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Filling my tights again
  4. Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
  5. Return of the lunatic twins
  6. Snogs ahoy!
  7. The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
  8. Boy Ambush
  9. You don’t want to do any more winking back
  10. The fire escape of desire
  11. I’ve eaten snail shells
  12. Snogging and Jazzles
  13. The magic of puppetry
  14. Return of the beast in trousers
  15. See you there, cheeky miss
  16. My inner snogger
  17. Naughty bumberskite
  18. The church bells of doom
  19. Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
  20. The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
  21. He’s got the right amount of lip
  22. Praise the knees!
  23. Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
  24. The Taming of the Tights
  25. The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
  26. Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
  27. Tallulah’s glossary
  28. Back Ads
  29. About the Author
  30. Books by Louise Rennison
  31. Credits
  32. Copyright
  33. About the Publisher

And we had our first official Tree Sisters hug. It was so good to be with my pals again. Nothing can go wrong when you have your little girl gang around you. Nothing!!!!

Back in the Theater of Dreams with my gang!!!!

I started singing “There’s no business like show business, we smile when we are down . . .”

And doing high skipping. I don’t know why, but my legs got excited.

A voice behind me said, “I might have known. Tallulah Casey. WALK properly. You are not a silly baby.”

Oh, how I remembered that voice. I didn’t have to turn round to see who it was. I could feel beaky eyes staring into the back of me.

Dr. Lightowler.

Half woman, half owl, half really, really horrible to me.

Well, this term she was going to see a big change in me and not only in the corker department. She wasn’t dealing with a little kid anymore. I had grown and matured.

Vaisey whispered, “Don’t say anything to annoy her.”

It was sweet of her to care, but I had everything under control.

I stopped and turned round. Blimey, I must say, and this didn’t seem possible, Dr. Lightowler looked even more owly. Had she got a new winter cloak?

She glared down her thin nose unblinkingly. I smiled cordially, my legs together.

“Ah, Dr. Lightowler, how marvelous to see you again. You look rested. The rest has done you good. In fact, you look in beak condition.” (Oh sweet Jesus!) “Er. Hahaha, woopity doodah . . . peak, PEAK condition.”

The girls were snuffling and putting their heads down to hide their laughter.

Dr. Lightowler wasn’t laughing. She was still looking and not blinking. She hissed, “It’s a shame that the rest of us aren’t as impressed with you as you are, Tallulah Casey. Remember, I am watching you. And I don’t like what I see.”

And she swished off.

Flossie said, “I think deep down, really deep down, so deep down that she’d have to get a rope and the emergency services to get there, she’s very, very fond of you.”

Vaisey put her arm round me. “It’s so unfair. Just because you fell off a bike once, she never gives you a chance.”

How right she was.

Jo was jumping up and down. “Shhhh, shhhhh. Don’t let’s start talking about Lullah. I want to snog Phil. He phoned me and said he would be at our Special Tree!!!”

Snogs ahoy!!!!

As we walked into the main hall, Vaisey said shyly, “I got a postcard from Jack. I think he might like me.”

I gave her a hug. “Who doesn’t like you, missy?”

Flossie said, “Fiddle-de-dee, Miss Vaisey, I just want to see some menfolk. LOTS of menfolk. ANY menfolk. It’s this goddam relentless heat.”

I didn’t point out that there was ice on the inside of the windows.

The main hall was full of babbling girls. Milly and Tilly, Honsy, Bibby. It was nice to see everyone again. Groovy to see the “showbiz” crowd.