Back The Swap Save as PDF
Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Spring 2019
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Summer 2019
  15. Chapter 10
  16. Chapter 11
  17. Chapter 12
  18. Chapter 13
  19. Chapter 14
  20. Chapter 15
  21. Chapter 16
  22. Chapter 17
  23. Chapter 18
  24. Chapter 19
  25. Chapter 20
  26. Autumn 2019
  27. Chapter 21
  28. Chapter 22
  29. Chapter 23
  30. Chapter 24
  31. Chapter 25
  32. Chapter 26
  33. Chapter 27
  34. Chapter 28
  35. Chapter 29
  36. Chapter 30
  37. Chapter 31
  38. Winter 2020
  39. Chapter 32
  40. Chapter 33
  41. Chapter 34
  42. Chapter 35
  43. Chapter 36
  44. Chapter 37
  45. Chapter 38
  46. Chapter 39
  47. Chapter 40
  48. Chapter 41
  49. Chapter 42
  50. Chapter 43
  51. Chapter 44
  52. Chapter 45
  53. Chapter 46
  54. Chapter 47
  55. Chapter 48
  56. Chapter 49
  57. Chapter 50
  58. Chapter 51
  59. Chapter 52
  60. Chapter 53
  61. Chapter 54
  62. Chapter 55
  63. Spring 2020
  64. Chapter 56
  65. Chapter 57
  66. Chapter 58
  67. Chapter 59
  68. Chapter 60
  69. Chapter 61
  70. Chapter 62
  71. Chapter 63
  72. Chapter 64
  73. Chapter 65
  74. Chapter 66
  75. Chapter 67
  76. Chapter 68
  77. Chapter 69
  78. Chapter 70
  79. Acknowledgments
  80. Reading Group Guide
  81. Copyright

“Where are you going?”

“My friend Thompson and I are moving to Seattle.”

“Thompson?” She cocked an eyebrow and her lips twitched with a smile.

“It’s not like that,” I snapped. Thompson and I were not romantically involved. But I had gone to the drugstore to apologize for my behavior in the barn that day.

“Sorry for being a drunken asshole,” I’d muttered. Thompson was still hurt, still angry. He’d given me the cold shoulder, and so I had slunk away. So much for trying to be a decent human being.

But a few days later, after he’d heard about Freya’s disappearance, he had shown up at my house. “Sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks.”

“I know how you felt about her. This must be really hard.”

“You were right. It wasn’t real,” I said. “I’m trying to let it go and move on.”

He kicked the ground with his ratty sneaker. “Want to get some pizza?”

It’s not like I had anything else to do. “Sure.”

It was in “our booth” that I told him I was leaving the island, that I needed a fresh start. He had chewed thoughtfully for a moment before he said, “Want a roommate?”

“I’m not into you,” I said quickly.

“Yeah, I got that,” Thompson said, with the slightest roll of his eyes. “But I could use a change of scene, too. We could split the rent on a two-bedroom place.”

I had taken a sip of Coke. “You’re sure you’re not in love with me.”

“Super sure.”

And so, I had agreed.

But now Jamie was looking at me like I was about to elope. “Thompson wanted to move, and I needed a roommate,” I said. “I’ll start college in the fall.”

“That’s amazing.” Jamie’s face lit up. “I’m so proud of you.”

“It was always my plan,” I lied.

It hadn’t been, as you know. I’d been scared to leave the island, afraid I wouldn’t fit in in the big wide world. But Freya had changed me. For better or worse. She had pushed me to the brink of my sanity, forced me to commit an unthinkable act, and I had done it. I had killed the woman I loved to protect a baby from certain death. And I had gotten away with it. There was no need to feel fearful or intimidated anymore. By anyone.

I was formidable.

Maggie had finished her bottle and was dozing in her mother’s arms. Jamie carefully rose from the chair and placed her baby in the playpen. I watched the sleeping child for a moment. She looked so much like Freya. Would the resemblance haunt Jamie and Brian? Would Maggie inherit the cruel, sociopathic-bitch gene? Or would the love of two solid (if a little dull) parents allow her to grow up stable, confident, normal . . . ?