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Chapters (81)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Spring 2019
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Summer 2019
  15. Chapter 10
  16. Chapter 11
  17. Chapter 12
  18. Chapter 13
  19. Chapter 14
  20. Chapter 15
  21. Chapter 16
  22. Chapter 17
  23. Chapter 18
  24. Chapter 19
  25. Chapter 20
  26. Autumn 2019
  27. Chapter 21
  28. Chapter 22
  29. Chapter 23
  30. Chapter 24
  31. Chapter 25
  32. Chapter 26
  33. Chapter 27
  34. Chapter 28
  35. Chapter 29
  36. Chapter 30
  37. Chapter 31
  38. Winter 2020
  39. Chapter 32
  40. Chapter 33
  41. Chapter 34
  42. Chapter 35
  43. Chapter 36
  44. Chapter 37
  45. Chapter 38
  46. Chapter 39
  47. Chapter 40
  48. Chapter 41
  49. Chapter 42
  50. Chapter 43
  51. Chapter 44
  52. Chapter 45
  53. Chapter 46
  54. Chapter 47
  55. Chapter 48
  56. Chapter 49
  57. Chapter 50
  58. Chapter 51
  59. Chapter 52
  60. Chapter 53
  61. Chapter 54
  62. Chapter 55
  63. Spring 2020
  64. Chapter 56
  65. Chapter 57
  66. Chapter 58
  67. Chapter 59
  68. Chapter 60
  69. Chapter 61
  70. Chapter 62
  71. Chapter 63
  72. Chapter 64
  73. Chapter 65
  74. Chapter 66
  75. Chapter 67
  76. Chapter 68
  77. Chapter 69
  78. Chapter 70
  79. Acknowledgments
  80. Reading Group Guide
  81. Copyright

We both trailed after her.

“We’ll go back to LA,” she said, flicking on the coffee machine. “You know I’ve been thinking about it for months. This thing with CPS was the last fucking straw.”

“It’s not that simple,” he said, as she rummaged in the fridge. “We’d have to sell the house. In this market, that could take months. Even years. And we won’t get much bang for our buck in LA.”

Freya emerged with a carton of oat milk. “I don’t care if we live in a dumpster in LA. I’m not raising my daughter in this hillbilly backwater.”

I had stood by, listening in mute horror, but I stepped forward then. “You can’t leave.”

It was clear from the look on Freya’s face that she had forgotten I was there. “This doesn’t concern you, Low. Go home.”

“I live here.”

“Not anymore.” She poured the nondairy beverage into a mug and slammed it into the microwave. “We won’t be needing your services.”

“You can’t just . . . let me go.”

“We’ll pay you two weeks’ severance,” Max mumbled.

But this wasn’t about money. “I’ll go with you,” I suggested. “I hate it here, too. I can look after Maggie in LA.”

“You wouldn’t fit in there. You’re too . . .” Freya’s eyes roved over me and I steeled myself for an unkind assessment. But she said, “You’re an island girl. This is where you belong.”

The microwave dinged, and she turned away from me. If she had thrown scalding oat milk in my face it would have hurt less.

“Maggie needs me,” I countered. “We’ve bonded.” I swallowed my fear and added, “She barely knows you.”

Freya set down her coffee mug and turned to face me. “You called CPS.”

“What?” My face blanched, which I feared would read as guilt. “No.”

An incredulous laugh erupted from her. “Are you jealous of my baby daughter, Low? Are you trying to get rid of her so you can have me all to yourself?”

Now my face was burning, and I knew my cheeks were fuchsia. Freya was onto me. She had read my thoughts and emotions. But I had not made that call.

Max addressed his wife. “Stop.”

But she didn’t stop. She kept coming at me. “You’re obsessed with me, aren’t you, Low? And Max, too. You’ve got some deluded fantasy that we’re soul mates. That we’re in love.”

“I don’t.”

“Do you watch us fucking? Do you take pictures of us and then masturbate to them?”

“Jesus Christ, Freya,” Max said.

But she knew. She knew about the photographs hidden in my bedroom. Had she seen them? Or could she simply sense my lust, my fascination?