I think back to five days earlier, the momentary happiness I had felt as I walked up the driveway and saw the topiary animals and the griffins, smelt the faint scent of honeysuckle in the air. I think of the look on his face as he answered the door, the smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Don’t think about it, I tell myself. Not tonight. Tonight, I need to escape it all. So I let the memory fade and, instead, try to focus on the website, wincing as I take a sip from the coffee that has now gone tepid. Nothing new has been added in the last few hours, but simply seeing the familiar listings is reassuring.

‘Everything okay?’

I look up and see my sister standing in the doorway. She’s wearing her oversized navy-and-white-striped apron. The smell of roasted vegetables wafts through from the kitchen. Georgie is a great cook, like my mum was. I, on the other hand, can just about rustle up a basic pasta if I have to.

‘Yes, all fine,’ I say, minimizing the window on my screen. ‘Just having a look at some job sites. Seeing what’s out there.’

Georgie gives me that look, the one I’ve become accustomed to these last few weeks: a mixture of sympathy and bewilderment. A look that says How did my ambitious, confident little sister get herself into this state? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot too.

‘Dinner won’t be long,’ she says, wiping a strand of dark hair from her face. ‘I’m making stuffed peppers.’

‘Thanks, Georgie,’ I say, aware of the fact that she is trying her best to perk me up. ‘They smell delicious.’

She goes to speak but is interrupted by a loud hammering on the door. My heart leaps in my chest as she goes to answer it.

Breathe, I tell myself; try to focus back on the page I’ve been looking at.

I hear muffled voices in the passageway and my throat tightens. I scroll down the page, cast my net a bit wider. Draining the last of the coffee, I try to think of somewhere new, somewhere I’ve never been before. But my brain is muddy, nothing will come, so instead I close my eyes and type a random letter into the search engine. G. I shiver at its meaning, then quickly click on the first suggestion – Gloucestershire – before his face has a chance to appear in my head.