‘Georgie, this isn’t your fault,’ I say. ‘You’ve been there for me all my life. When Mum died you were invincible.’

‘It’s these last few years I’m talking about,’ she says, shaking her head. ‘I became selfish, got absorbed in my own life.’

‘Georgie, you’ve never been selfish. I’m a grown woman,’ I say. ‘I chose to be in a relationship with Connor. No one could have foreseen this happening.’

‘The only person at fault here is that bastard,’ says Lottie as we join her on the sofa.

‘He made it seem normal,’ I say, putting my head in my hands. ‘And then he made me feel like I was losing my mind, like I couldn’t function. That’s why it’s taken me so long to realize what actually happened. I couldn’t be sure. All I kept thinking was what if he’s right? What if I am having some sort of breakdown and accusing a man of doing something terrible, something he didn’t do?’

‘Oh, Ness,’ says Lottie, putting her hand on my shoulder. ‘It’s what abusers do. They make you think it’s you. They play the victim.’

I nod my head, recalling his tears the morning after the burlesque.

‘I know. But I just never thought that’s what was happening to me. I couldn’t see clearly. In a weird way, Gabriel made me see sense,’ I say. ‘His life had been destroyed by his father, a man who was adored by millions. His childhood had been stolen from him and put up for public consumption. He’d been violated and he was angry, so angry he ended up killing. I realized that Connor had done something similar to me, he’d violated me when I was at my most vulnerable. But I don’t want to be like Gabriel. I don’t want my life to be destroyed by anger and hate.’

‘It’s not going to be,’ says Georgie, crouching down in front of me. ‘And you know why? Because tomorrow morning, after we’ve all had a good rest, you’re going to call the police. This man has to be stopped before he does this to someone else, darling. You know that, don’t you?’

She takes my hand in hers and looks me straight in the eye.

‘Yes,’ I say, tears blurring my vision. ‘I know that, but I’m scared, Georgie.’

‘I’ll be right here next to you, as will Lottie and Jack, and we’ll be with you every single step of the way.’

‘This is it, Vanessa,’ says Lottie, squeezing my hand. ‘This is the moment you take back control.’

41.

Wimbledon Magistrates Court 5 March 2019