‘Between those two things occurring – Rivers talking to Carter-Vaughan at 1 p.m. and his window cleaner arriving at 3 p.m. – you, Miss Adams, were booked to view Holly Maze House, which I strongly suspect you did, as you were shown on CCTV running like the clappers back on to the high street from the direction of the house.’

‘Stop,’ I whisper, digging my nails into my forearm. ‘Please stop.’

‘Oh,’ says Bains, clapping his hands together. ‘So you do have a voice? That’s wonderful. Now, maybe you can use that voice to tell me what happened at Holly Maze House because it appears, Miss Adams, that you were the last person to see Geoffrey Rivers alive.’

It is 1996. I’m ten years old and have just woken up in my yellow bedroom. I like the way the sun, coming through the yellow curtains, makes the room look sepia tinted, like an old photograph. I love old things: historic houses, ghost tales, antique furniture, things with a story attached to them, a meaning. The past is a comforting place. A safe one. It is the present – school in particular – that I find most problematic, though I’ve never told my mum that. I always say everything is fine, that I’ve had ‘a lovely day at school, thank you very much’. I don’t want to worry her. I want her to think that I’m happy. But the truth is that friendships, and all the things involved in making and keeping them, are a mystery to me. It feels like everyone else has received a set of instructions on how to be, what to say, how to dress, what music to like, how to navigate life, and I have somehow missed the memo.

4. Then

30 September 2017

‘Happy birthday, baby.’

I feel Connor’s breath on my neck as I lie curled up against his chest. It’s still dark outside though I can hear the faint throb of Sunday-morning traffic on Queenstown Road.

‘That was a very lovely birthday surprise,’ I say, recalling the heat of Connor’s body as we made love earlier, his fingers exploring every little part of me. I’ve never had this kind of physical chemistry with a man before. There was Tony, back at university, who I’d been quite serious about before he decided he wanted to go travelling in Australia to ‘find his purpose’. After that I had a few short-lived relationships and a succession of disastrous dates but I wasn’t all that bothered as I had a job I loved and a great flatmate in Lottie. I knew that one day I would find the person I was meant to be with but I could never have imagined it would feel like this. It’s like some strange and powerful drug.