Had Colleen and I not gotten the lead roles because she needed to work on softening and I needed to work on entrechats? Or was it part of the grand tradition for us to be Chinese Tea and Arabian Coffee, and for Spencer and Juliet—and the rest of the Jodys—to be Sugar Plum and Dew Drop?

There was another thing, too. Colleen was Arabian Coffee again this year—she’d texted me about it back in October. Colleen was one of the most willowy dancers I’d ever seen. How could she still need to work on softening her arms?

Before all the questions could settle in, my phone buzzed. Colleen.

ABT summer intensive audition: Jan. 18 in Philly. The parents said I could go.

I stopped breathing. The questions faded into the background and all I could focus on was three letters. ABT. American Ballet Theatre. Her dream company. My dream company. My eyes glazed over as more messages came in.

Dad said put it on Google Calendar so I remember. I said it’s one date I think I’m good. He literally lectured me about the importance of calendar apps for half an hour. What is life.

Miss you, Ali-oop.

If Colleen did well at the ABT audition in two months, she would get into the summer intensive. If she did well there, maybe they’d invite her to stay at the school year-round. Maybe she’d get into the company in a couple of years.

I read the texts again, hearing Colleen’s voice in my head, but it sounded far away. Like she was already in New York. Already there, forgetting about me.

I pressed Play on Giselle and turned up the volume, letting the violins drown everything out.

CHAPTER EIGHT

TUESDAY AFTER SCHOOL was the first rehearsal for Singin’ in the Rain. It had taken me even longer than usual to fall asleep the night before, so I was dragging by the time ninth period rolled around. As I turned into study hall, I mentally practiced my “Sorry, Margot, but I’m quitting the musical” speech. It was a ridiculous idea in the first place. And I’d already had more major freak-outs since I auditioned than I’d had in the past couple of months combined. Clearly I wasn’t ready to be anywhere else but in my room, under the covers.

I fidgeted with my sweater sleeves as I took my normal seat in the back row. I didn’t know why I was so nervous about telling her. Yeah, she’d pushed the idea of the musical and helped me pick an audition song, but she had Ethan, Jude, and everyone else in the cast who’d cheered for her at the party. The musical was her happy place. I’d just bring it down.