I looked for Margot, thinking she would say something sarcastic and snap me out of it. But when I swept my eyes over the rows of seats, I found Jude instead. He was staring at me across the auditorium, his mouth open. It brought back another familiar feeling: the swell of pride when people looked at me like I had just done something beautiful.

I was so homesick for that look. But seeing it now, I only felt hollow. I didn’t deserve it anymore. The hollowness filled up with rage.

Jude was still staring at me. His mouth stretched into a smile as he returned the golf clap I’d given him before. But instead of smiling back or tipping an imaginary hat to him, like I really should have done, I flipped him off instead.

CHAPTER TWO

AS SOON AS I SHUT the front door, Mom swept in from the patio and Dad stood up from the piano. “So?” they asked in unison. “How was it?”

They were pretty jazzed about me auditioning for the musical. They’d probably said a little prayer of thanks when they got home from work and didn’t find me in my room, buried under the covers and watching ballet videos on my laptop.

“Fine,” I said, dropping my backpack roughly onto the foyer floor and then kicking it away from me. And I tried not to, but my eyes swept over the picture frames on the mantel, where my ballet pictures used to be. Still missing.

“Stand down, soldiers.” I saluted my parents and headed to the kitchen.

“We’ll need more than that, General Grumpy Pants,” Dad said, following me.

“General Grumpy Leggings,” Mom corrected, pointing at my legs. “That’s what those are called. People wear them as pants, but you’ll never get me to believe that’s what they really are.”

I sighed loudly, knowing I’d have to give them something. “It really was fine. My singing wasn’t entirely horrible.” I opened the fridge, took out a string cheese, and bit into it. “And the dance combination was easy,” I said with my mouth full.

I also gave someone the finger for no reason.

I was glad Jude hadn’t seemed offended by my spontaneous decision to flip him the bird. Surprised, yes. Confused, definitely. But not mad. I hoped he wouldn’t ask me to explain myself.

“You know, we did Carousel our senior year at Kalani,” Mom said, her smile hopeful.

“You guys were in your high school musical?” I asked, the cheese nearly dropping from my mouth. I’d heard more than I ever wanted to about Mom and Dad’s high school sweetheart days, but not this.

“Well, no.” Dad stroked his coppery beard. “But we had friends in it, I think. And we saw it. And it was really great!”