Colleen screamed. “Alina!” Then she turned mock-serious. “What has gotten into you, young lady?”

She was kidding, but I wondered the same thing. I thought about the past few weeks. I’d told Paul off. I’d helped Diya and Colleen. I’d done ballet again, and it had felt good. I’d fixed things with Margot, Ethan, and Jude. What had gotten into me? Whatever it was, I liked it. I shrugged, which made them both laugh.

We were cracking up for most of the time after that, and I realized how happy and relaxed I was here with them. I thought again of Diya, and how I’d felt the same way when we danced in her room. If Diya had been here, with Margot in this great mood, it could have been fine. It could have been fun. But I was so glad to have them all back—Colleen and Margot and Ethan and Jude—that I didn’t want to risk it just yet.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I PAWED THROUGH MY CLOSET for the gazillionth time, cursing myself for telling Jude we should go see Giselle together. And cursing Margot’s abuela for taking Margot and Ethan to a concert so they couldn’t go with us.

I was excited to see Colleen as Myrtha, I really was, but what do you wear to your old school’s production of your favorite ballet, with the boy who used to want to date you but doesn’t anymore? Hanging out with Jude during rehearsals with lots of other people around was one thing. Going to a ballet with him alone on a Saturday night was totally different, and I was quickly losing my ability to function.

I finally threw on a gray shift dress, black tights, and my wool Keds before running downstairs to the kitchen. Jude would be here any minute.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the roses I’d bought this morning, tipping them to my nose. The fresh scent calmed my nerves a little, and a quiet, bittersweet feeling took their place. It wasn’t a bad feeling, necessarily, but I wished I had a name for it. I’d been feeling it a lot these past couple of weeks as I hung out with Jude at rehearsals and texted with Colleen about the Giselle opening night.

“Aw, did you get Jude flowers for your date?” Josie said, coming up behind me.

My nerves came back in full force. “They’re for Colleen, and it’s not a date!”

Josie laughed. “You need to calm down.”

“You need to—” I bit my tongue. I’d been trying not to snap at Josie. Sometimes, like right now, it felt like a monumental challenge. Mom came into the kitchen, carrying a stack of essays. I gave her a pleading look.