I’d told Colleen that whenever getting access to one of her parents’ cars was complicated, I’d take her to class. So on Saturday, because of Jack’s soccer game and Calvin’s math modeling competition, Colleen and I would be driving to KDBS together for the first time in forever. I couldn’t wait to geek out with her in person about ABT. And Jude.

I went to my closet and got the pointe shoes out. They were beside the old Capezio box where I’d put all my ballet pictures.

I took a breath and opened the lid. I thumbed through photo after photo of me and Colleen. I put a pile of them on my bed.

Then I snuck downstairs to Mom’s office, where we kept the color printer. I logged on to her computer, brought up Ethan’s Instagram, and scrolled through. There was Jude at auditions, flushed and smiling after he sang “Maria.” There was Margot dancing at the pre–cast party, looking like a badass mermaid queen. Harrison singing “Beautiful Girl” at Winter Formal.

The whole year so far was there, but beautified. Or maybe it had really looked like that and I was only now noticing. I printed out a bunch of pictures and snuck back upstairs.

I found some adhesive putty in my desk drawer and got to work, putting all the old pictures back on my walls, interspersed with new ones. Colleen and me in A Midsummer Night’s Dream next to Jude at auditions. Colleen and me in Coppélia below Margot at the party.

When I finished with my walls, I grabbed one more photo. It was of me getting my first pair of pointe shoes. I had braces and was smiling so much my mouth took up half my face.

I was eleven. I’d had no idea what was going to happen in the future. I still didn’t.

I snuck downstairs again, careful not to wake anyone. I propped the photo against a frame in the middle of the mantel. Then I crept back to my room, turned the lights off, and finally went to sleep.

March

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

“I’M HEADING OUT!” I called as I hurried down the stairs, my hair finger-waved and pinned into a fake bob. I grabbed my bag and triple-checked to make sure I had my makeup, costumes, and character shoes. As I dug around, I heard Mom, Dad, and Josie coming in from the kitchen. “Okay, leaving for real now,” I said. “You have the tickets, right?” When I slung my bag over my shoulder and turned around, they were all staring at me. Mom’s eyes were misty. “You look beautiful. We can’t wait to see you dance.”

“We’re so proud of you, sweetie,” Dad said.