When I got to do it for an audience, I soared over the stage, the bell-like notes of the celesta emanating from my body and whirling around the theater, filling it with warmth and light and loveliness.

Back in the car, the orchestra came to its final dramatic note. I took a breath in the silence that followed, recalling that my favorite part of the whole night had come after the dancing.

In ballet, a curtsy is also known as a reverence. It’s not a simple bow to say “Thanks for clapping.” It’s a gesture of love and respect to your classmates, teachers, the music, the orchestra, the audience, and most of all, to ballet itself. It’s the embodiment of gratitude for being able to do what you just did.

Onstage that night—to the rhythm of my wild heartbeat and the applause of family, friends, strangers, ballet lovers, and people who had just seen ballet for the first time—I extended my right arm, and then my left. Then I knelt into a deep curtsy, slowly lowering my head.

I’d cried a lot of tears and held back even more before I got the chance to dance this role. But that night it finally happened. And I made it the most beautiful thing I could.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

“CAN YOU DIE FROM neon exposure?” Margot shouted over the music, shielding her eyes as we walked into the gym.

“Maybe?” I squinted at the blinding decorations. Multicolored neon lanterns hung from the ceiling, fluorescent tape zigzagged across the floor, and neon signs lit up the walls. They said: GLOW FOR IT, TONIGHT IT’S ALL LIGHT, and, my personal favorite, NEON!!!!

“Where should we take the picture?” I yelled.

Margot looked around the gym. “That one really captures the theme,” she yelled back, pointing to the NEON!!!! sign by the bleachers. We made our way over, elbowing through a cluster of girls with glow-paint hearts on their cheeks. “Look happy to be here!” Margot said as we arranged ourselves in front of the sign. She stretched her arm out and snapped the picture.

She tapped a few buttons and plopped her phone into the pocket of her shimmering metallic dress. “So that’s done,” she said.

We stood around awkwardly for a few seconds. I caught sight of Josie across the gym, putting on a pair of oversized neon glasses and piling into the photo booth with a few other girls. On the other side of the room, I saw Ethan in a big group of musical people. They were dancing normally, not like at the cast party, and Jude wasn’t there. “Should we…” I gestured to the doors. I really needed those waffles.