He smiles down at me and strokes my hair. ‘You’re not going to be held accountable for something you did in your teens.’

‘Of course I am. That’s the way it works. Everyone loves a fall from grace.’ I smile. ‘No pun intended. What I did to you …’

‘I forgave you a long time ago.’

‘Forgiven but not forgotten,’ I retort.

‘Absolutely that.’

He untucks his shirt, and I reach to touch the scar, an inch below his ribcage. I run my fingers gently over its puckered surface. The things we do when we’re young and desperate. He holds my hand against it, then lets it go. I dry my tears and pull myself up with the banister.

‘You’ll be a fifteen-minute wonder, that’s all,’ he says. ‘You know what you have to do when the big wave comes at you.’

‘Hold my breath and dive under it.’

‘That’s right. Now, why don’t you go and get Lottie. The sooner we tell her, the better.’ He takes my jacket from its hook and holds it out for me, and I slip my arms into the sleeves, as obedient as a child.

In the hall I take a deep breath then pull open the door and dive out into the fray. I pretend they aren’t there, that their voices are geese clucking, the flashes are lightning. My heart is pounding, my ears ringing with the sound of my own name, with Nick’s name. With Izzy’s.

We gather round the kitchen table – father, mother, daughter – and I tell her what’s happened. There is no way of softening the blow. I watch Lottie’s face as it pales, as her eyes redden and her chin trembles. She gets up and buries herself in Douglas’s arms. I feel a flash of jealousy, so inappropriate that it shocks me.

‘It’ll be all right, baby,’ Douglas says. ‘Everything will be all right.’

He glances at me over her shoulder, his eyes warm. I gaze back, with a dawning sense of shame. I’m letting him in, letting him get under my skin again; and that’s what he wants. This situation suits him down to the ground. Anna warned me about this, about the temptation of old loves when you’re feeling vulnerable. I insisted she was wrong, but she was right. Douglas knows me, and he’s here, flesh and blood, whereas Nick has gone and may very well be dead. I need to be on my guard.

‘We’ll be fine now, Douglas,’ I say, glancing pointedly at the door.

He hesitates, but I stand up and wait until he has no choice but to take the hint.