‘What else did you talk to Nick about?’

‘This and that. Our children and the school. I told him that I’d been married and was a widow. He was sweet about that. He said I should come for supper some time. He said you were always having little supper parties.’

‘Oh, not that often,’ I say quickly. Would Nick have said those things? I suppose he might have done. But then why baulk when I suggest exactly that? It makes no sense.

Her phone buzzes; she swipes and reads the message then glances at me. ‘It’s Susanna wanting to know how many cakes she can put me down for.’

I nod, not interested. ‘I wish you’d told me.’

She fiddles with her hair, rubbing the ends between her finger and thumb, pulling a strand taut across her lips, then curling it behind her ear. ‘I do, too. I just didn’t want that summer rehashed, to have to explain how appallingly I behaved. Meeting Nick brought it all back.’

‘For him, too, I’d imagine.’

‘Yes.’ She looks as worn out as I feel. ‘All I can tell you is that Izzy had a thing about him. She followed him round and she was the only one who refused to obey my rules.’

‘What rules?’

‘We pretended he didn’t exist. Didn’t Alex say?’

I think back and shake my head. ‘No, he didn’t.’

‘That is so like him. Well, it went on for days. But Izzy wouldn’t stick to the plan. Whenever she thought I wasn’t looking, she’d smile at him. She would talk to him if I wasn’t in the room. I’m glad of that now. My sister was a kinder person than me. She should still be here.’

‘Why was everyone so pathetic? Why didn’t they tell you to stop it or ignore you?’

‘Have you forgotten what it’s like being a teenager? Weren’t you ever so in thrall to someone that you’d do anything to be in favour? I’m not proud of how I behaved, but back then the sense of power it gave me was extraordinary. I look back, and I don’t recognize that girl as me; but it was. We do bad things when we’re young and ignorant, but it doesn’t necessarily make us bad adults. Stronger children gang up on weaker children; it’s human nature. And down in Devon, in that huge old house, cut off from London and real life, it was like we were on an island. Different rules applied. Nick began to rely on Izzy.’ There’s a glint in her eye when she says this. ‘Maybe the age gap between them became distorted or blurred around the edges.’

I stiffen. ‘What’re you saying?’

‘I’m not saying anything. I’m trying to explain what the atmosphere was like.’

‘Were you jealous of Izzy?’