Yes, I care for her and would not wish her ill, but my love for her lies in the memories of courting, our time in the Moss House, our wedding, our first travels to Paris… but then the storm clouds gathered and we lost those we loved and were shunned by our friends, family and society itself. I thought I could cope with the loss of everyone else if I had her. I thought she alone would be enough to complete me and fill my days, but Aunt was right. One person alone is not enough. We need people. And now it is as if she is no longer with me, as though I am abandoned by her too. I know she cannot help it, but how can she be so selfish and cruel as to shut me out? She forces me to hide in my gatehouse and listen to the traffic pass by for fear I should see someone who will ask me, as always, how is Miss Walker, and I must smile and say very well thank you, when it is all a lie, she is not very well at all. Neither am I.

I hope and pray that she can find her way through this and come back to me. I bring over Doctor Belcome from York but he leaves with a shrug. No one can help her. I will give her until summer to improve. Otherwise I shall have to run away, for any more of this loneliness will be too much for me to bear.

Miss Walker

As soon as we wake, I dread the day. I must somehow function and have the maids see me. I am anxious about what letters will come, what the newspaper will say, if someone should call on us, if someone should burn down the Hall with us both inside.