The thought keeps coming to me that there is nothing here for me now. Marian threatens to leave us and go back to Market Weighton, but she does not, she is tied to Ann. Even the changes to the Hall have little interest for me now. It feels empty. Ann finds no pleasures here. I wonder why we stay. Perhaps the time is now to leave this place, these people who have vexed us, and once more venture out into the world, but this time I travel safe in the knowledge of what awaits me on my return; my home. My new library will be waiting for me, and with Ann’s money and mine we can ever improve it and live in peace, the two of us; but peace is far from my mind at the moment. In another five or ten years perhaps, but now the world awaits.

It’s just a shame that my beloved has the enthusiasm of a snail. Never mind, I shall drag her with me and rest assured when she sees the oceans, the mountains, she will fall in love with the world as I have, and we will both want to see and walk over as much of it as we can, while we can.

Although I do not like to admit it, if I do travel, this journey may well be the last. When I return to the completed Shibden, my tower library waiting for me, this time I may not be lured away again, but reside the rest of my days at the Hall, writing up my travels to share with others, overseeing the final building works. I suppose I could then share some of the Lister income with those less fortunate than I. But they’ll have to wait. I must enjoy myself first.

Whilst I am deeply saddened to lose Aunt, Ann and Marian mope about together, feeding off each other’s grief. Marian declares that if we are leaving her to travel then she does not wish to be left here at Shibden alone. Then come with us, I say, and she refuses. I have never been able to fathom what goes on in her mind.

Miss Walker

As Anne and Marian’s voices rise ever higher to best each other and be heard, though we are all in close proximity, Marian tells me I could stay here with her instead, and let Anne go off travelling by herself, and for the briefest of moments I rather like the idea. Perhaps Anne reads it on my face, as she is suddenly struck with a jealousy I have never seen before, and instead of leaving me behind with Marian, she decides to rid us both of her, our sister and dear friend, by declaring loud enough for the whole of Halifax to hear:

She’s my WIFE! She will come with ME!

And there you have it. I suppose it had to come out eventually.