Before leaving, I speed-read what I’d managed to find on Kleine’s start-up, the main point of note being that two months earlier she’d raised 1.5 million euros in VC funding. From all the press releases it was quite hard to work out what the business was actually for, and the website didn’t help much either. It did have lots of cool sliding animations and pictures of impossibly happy people doing everyday things: a large wristwatched man plays golf, an old couple hand in hand are caught mid-skip on a tropical beach, a woman with arms raised hits the finishing-line tape whilst a blurred crowd go wild. None of which really tells me anything. The only constant between all the images that I can make out is their dazzling white teeth. Maybe it’s a dental start-up? Jansen had said microbiome, maybe oral microbiome?

‘Right, let’s go and find out what they’re all grinning about.’

I’m expecting Kush to leap up at my words, maybe even bark, but all I get is silence. I look around; I can’t see him anywhere. Where’s he got to? There aren’t any females in the room, just one guy plugging away at something on his laptop in the corner.

‘Have you seen my dog?’

‘Err … no, sir. What’s he look like?’

‘Albino, three legs, no tail. Teeth like a walrus.’

‘Sorry, sir.’

I’m starting to wonder about the hiring policy. A quick search in the outer office reveals I may have a problem. I’m standing by a desk, the bottom drawer of which is open. Inside is a very expensive-looking running shoe. Just the one.

I eventually find Kush in the far corner, tucked behind a trolley of water-cooler bottles, doing his best to utterly destroy the missing shoe. He’s actually got his front paws pinning it to the ground whilst he tugs at the fabric with his teeth. I have to say he’s doing a pretty good job. I take it off him and make threatening gestures but he seems completely unconcerned, simply jumping up and trying to reclaim his caught prey. Back in the incident room I drop the ruined shoe on the table in front of laptop man.

‘I’m going out to chase down a lead. I need you to get another pair of these. Identical size and colour.’

‘I’m not sure I understand, sir.’

‘Just Do It.’

He looks at me blankly. Christ, does nobody know their corporate slogans any more?

‘Just Do It. Nike.’

Blank stare.

‘Never mind. Just make sure they’re identical.’

‘Yes.’

‘Yes?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Be quick.’