I am in control. I start to speak, the words alien sounds at first, odd shapes in my mouth. But they begin to come into focus. I’m breathing hard, the desire is fighting back, and wants to take control, to deal with this situation as it should be. I force it down, force myself to be the one in charge. I start to speak again, and this time the words make sense to me right from the start.

‘Rein Benner, I’m arresting you for the murder of Lucie Muller, Marian—’

His scream of rage drowns out the rest. A bird, startled in a nearby tree, flaps up into the air.

Epilogue

An early frost crunches under my feet as I weave my way up the gentle slope. Kush is ahead, nosing around the gravestones. On top of one of them a crow perches, wings shimmering like a petrol spill in the low sun. My nose feels like it’s dripping, but the back of my hand comes away dry. Kush reaches Hank’s grave first and turns round, baffled by my comparative slowness.

‘All right for you,’ I tell him as I get close. ‘I’ve only got two legs.’

He ignores me, now entranced by the stone itself, sniffing intently. Nellie’s scent, most likely. And all of a sudden I’m back with her in that room with Hank lying in bed and the thin doctor with the purple birthmark on his neck asking for permission to switch off the life-support. I found Nellie’s hand in my own, and it stayed there as we listened to the beep from the heart-rate monitor ping and the silence after it sounded for the last time. Hope’s important, but sometimes it can become a trap, a trap Nellie’s now free from.

I’ve seen her a few times over the last few weeks and there’s a change already, a subtle shift in her which she might not even be aware of yet, but one that I’m glad to see.

My toes are freezing, and I’m due to meet Beving and Vermeer in less than an hour, and I’ll have to drop Kush back at Joel’s before that, but I stand for a while longer, not wanting to rush. On previous visits I’ve gone through memories of times I had with Hank, but today my mind’s quieter, content to just be here.

I take that as a good sign.

Beving and Vermeer are all business. Rein Benner has been officially charged and is awaiting trial, and I’ve been called to this meeting to hear that all charges against me are being officially dropped. It’s a formality, and normally I wouldn’t bother, but there’s something about the prospect of watching Beving squirm that made me turn up. So far, though, there’s not been a lot of squirming.