‘Given what they do to their own people, that’s not a bad thing,’ I say, thinking of the two men in the van.

‘Maybe you’re right. Jansen showed Beltmann’s photo to the nurse, and she confirmed he was the one who’d visited her that time. She wouldn’t testify to it, though. And I spoke to Roemers earlier.’

Somehow I thought she might. She has a mind as suspicious as mine.

‘He said you’d been asking him how best to leak information anonymously online …?’

‘Just a theoretical question. Fascinating thing, the internet.’

‘Yeah, well, be careful.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to do that.’

Because tomorrow morning I’m meeting Cheryl Kleine. There are some things best left to the professionals. She’s a journalist with an intense personal interest in what I’ll have to say. I take a pull and the tip glows. I notice Vermeer has a bottle of beer. She lifts it to her lips and takes a long sip.

‘So, about when I shot at you. Sorry –’

‘No worries, I didn’t leave you much choice.’

‘– sorry I missed.’

‘Kush, kill.’

Kush flicks an ear, but otherwise does nothing. Nice to see where his loyalty lies.

‘What’s next?’

Which really is the question. One I’ve been trying to avoid for the last couple of weeks. Joel’s not asked me about his proposal, maybe sensing that I need time. Though I’m not sure that’s really what I need.

‘Dunno.’

‘You’re sure you won’t come back to the police? Once you’re cleared. I could use a good partner.’

‘I bet Beving would be thrilled. Tempting, just to see his face. Talking of Beving, you need to be careful of him.’

‘Anything specific?’

I tell her about him asking me to spy on her. She doesn’t look all that surprised. I take another pull, then Vermeer surprises me. She reaches out, and I hand her the joint. She inhales, long and hard, and I wait for the coughing fit. But she’s clearly used to smoke of some sort because she holds it in before blowing out the biggest smoke ring I’ve ever seen. She hands back the joint, finishes her beer and gets up. ‘See you around then.’

I finish it off, and, feeling comfortable, decide on just one more. Just to help me think. I’ve been thinking a lot since my experience out in the woods, trying to tease out what exactly it was. Did I lose it, even if only temporarily? But what would have happened if I hadn’t been able to slip so easily between states? At first I’d been scared it was going to be a return of all my troubles, another breakdown, this time more serious.

But over the last few days it’s all started to settle.