Chapters (50)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Dedication
- Prologue
- FOUR DAYS BEFORE
- Sour Hound
- Sucked Back In
- Lucie Muller
- White Wolf, Black Wolf
- THREE DAYS BEFORE
- Crumbled Away
- Bit of a Punk
- Disturbance in the Force
- Knocking the Walls Off
- Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You
- Appropriately Medicated
- Friends in Common
- Lifestyle
- Who?
- Oscar
- Police Brutality
- TWO DAYS BEFORE
- Sorry
- Client Confidentiality
- Glass
- Chateau Lafite 2000
- There’s a Man With a Gun
- For Your Own Safety
- Fire
- Stark Night
- ONE DAY BEFORE
- Green
- It’s Not The World – It’s How You Look At It
- Familiar
- Volunteer Number Six
- A Very Dangerous Game
- DAY ZERO
- Junk
- Just Like the Others
- Burn
- Is This a Joke?
- Schizo
- Sour Hound II
- Moonlight
- Make Them Pay
- Bite
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- WELCOME TO AMSTERDAM
- THE BEGINNING
He’s thin and frail but there’s the unmistakable air of a man who has come through something and beaten it. The real question will of course be whether he needs to beat it again. But for now Robert Huisman’s off the heroin. One thing I’d missed during the investigation was that the money he’d paid for his rehab had seemed like a lot, and I’d not questioned how he’d got it. When I got Roemers to check further back in Huisman’s financials we found the source of the money, one which had really surprised me.
‘Good to be clean?’ I ask. We’re meeting on the bridge spanning the gap of water by the NEMO building. He’s a different person to when I’d interviewed him years ago. Then he’d been full of arrogance, puffed up with his own self-importance. Now he seems more humble.
‘Honestly? It’s hell,’ he finally says. ‘Needing that next hit makes things easier in a way. Nothing else matters. When you’re clean everything else matters, and that’s harder to cope with.’
‘Lucie’s death?’
‘I know I did some terrible things when I was with her. I cheated on her and I’ll never forgive myself. But despite all that I loved her, you know? I loved her and she was taken from me. Heroin made me do such stupid things. If I could have those days back again, I’d do things differently.’
I wonder if that’s a universal constant, the wish to go back and do things differently. I know there are things I’d change given the chance. Big things. Things that matter.
‘Did you approach Koen Muller, or did he reach out to you?’
‘I called him up. At first he wouldn’t speak to me. I guess he partly held me responsible. But about a month later he called me back and I went out to meet him at his house. We’re never going to be friends, but we talked, and it was good to clear the air, spend some time with someone who also loved Lucie. I think in the end he felt like I was a kind of link back to her. That’s why he suggested the rehab I went to and gave me the money for it.’
Koen Muller was an enigma to me. I couldn’t work out if he was simply the angry grieving father, or his involvement with DH Biotech meant he’d been playing another role. In a way I’m not sure I’ll ever know, but I decide that’s all right. Certainly his move to help out Huisman, a man he’d despised and had at one time believed responsible for Lucie’s death, takes a lot. In the end people are very rarely all good or all bad. If they were, then life would undoubtedly be easier.