I was confused. I hadn’t realized anyone had taken a photo of me that day. Who had sent me this? I turned over the postcard and saw, written on the back of the card, a message, in a computer font that looked like handwriting. It said, Thinking of you.

•   •   •

Though I ran for an hour that evening it didn’t do anything to clear my mind. I came home and showered then stayed up late, sitting by the window in my living room, looking down the road at the river. Music was playing on my laptop and I’d lit a few candles as it started to get dark. The curtains were open and outside I could see the lights outlining the banks of the Mersey. In front of me, propped up on a vase of flowers, was the photo. I found a notebook and started to write down a list of everyone who was at our house that afternoon. Oliver was there, as well as a few of our other neighbors. Josh and his girlfriend at the time. They broke up shortly afterward. Sarah was there with her husband, Adam, and their children. Some of Tom’s colleagues and their wives came along for a couple of drinks. My parents were there with my sister, Fiona. She was over from Australia for a holiday. Tom’s parents had passed away a few years before; I shuddered to think how they would have reacted to my leaving their son. They really would have wanted revenge.

Who had taken the photo? I thought back to the party. I thought I was the only one taking photos that day. I remembered printing them out later that week and realizing I wasn’t in any of the shots. And when I looked at that list of people at the party, I knew that only Josh knew my address yet I thought he hadn’t arrived at the party until later in the evening; he’d been out for the day with his girlfriend and they turned up when we were all indoors. I just couldn’t remember what time they turned up, but who could I ask?

And then I realized it must have been Tom who’d sent this to me. He hadn’t taken a photo of me for years, but maybe he had that day and hadn’t shown me. I sent him a message:

Did you send me something?

He replied a few minutes later.

You woke me, Ruby. Do you mean The Goldfinch? xx

No, not that, but thanks for buying it, I replied. Something arrived today and I wondered whether it was from you.

In the post? he said. Not me, babe. I don’t know where you live. I meant to ask for your address. Can you send it over? x