He gave me a quizzical look because I’d never shown such a lack of interest in work and would always answer messages in the evening.

“I’m tired,” I said. “It can wait.”

When Harry was in the shower later on, I took out my phone and stealthily checked the message. Tom had sent so many that I’d ignored: He wanted to come to the scan with me, he would be at the birth. He sent me links to cots and buggies and clothes and teddies, asking what I liked. He wanted to share everything with me.

He told me that I didn’t have to worry, he’d always be by my side.

CHAPTER 64

Emma

My eyes snapped open when Harry’s alarm went off the next morning. Today was the fifth working day after I’d been tested and I knew the results could be in that day. Though our backs were to each other, I felt him reach out to turn off the alarm. He’d changed the alarm ringtone so it played a new song every day and there was always a reference to babies. This morning it was “Baby Love” and he laughed as he heard it and rolled over to hug me. I wanted to shake him off, to warn him not to get too excited, that the baby might not be his, but how could I? I might as well let him have this one last morning of ignorance. So I lay still, pretending to be asleep, and he edged away quietly and crept out of the room, leaving me to have a bit more time to myself.

As soon as I heard the bathroom door shut, I scrabbled for my phone and checked my e-mails. Of course there was nothing. Nobody would be at work for a couple of hours at least. I wondered about the staff who worked in a clinic like that. If they sent back DNA results to say that the alleged father wasn’t the father, did they wince as they e-mailed the results, knowing the damage it could cause? Were they totally unsympathetic, thinking the woman had brought it on herself?

At that thought I hastily got up and pulled on my dressing gown. I couldn’t lie there thinking about anonymous people judging me. There would be enough people I knew doing that soon enough. Downstairs I put the radio on and started to make coffee and toast for Harry. At last I wasn’t feeling sick at the smell, though I wouldn’t be able to touch it myself. He seemed preoccupied, too, and sat at the kitchen table in silence while I made a pretense of gathering everything I needed for work. I needed to go to work early today. I knew that once I had the results I would be fit for nothing.