“No, you won’t,” she said. “We’ll lock up ourselves, thank you. We might be away months. I know Fiona misses us. And anyway, what would I tell the neighbors?”

“What’s it got to do with them?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you bumping into Mrs. Jennings. Telling her all your business. None of hers have given her any trouble. And here you are, about to be divorced and not even any children to show for it.”

Tears stung my eyes then, as she surely knew they would, at the thought of those nights I’d spent each month, hoping and praying that I’d get pregnant. She knew about that; I’d been stupid enough to confide in her. She’d told me that some women weren’t made to be mothers. It had taken a long time to forgive that.

“I have to go,” I said.

She started to remonstrate but I pressed the End button and, as if by magic, she disappeared.

Later when I’d calmed down, a message came through from my dad.

I’m sorry, pet. You know what your mum’s like x

I did, and I knew what he was like, too. I loved him, but he let her get away with such bad behavior. He pacified her, as though his role in life was to smooth things over when she rode roughshod over other people. It had taken me so long to realize that I was like him. I didn’t reply to my dad’s message. I didn’t know what to say to him.

Just as I was getting ready for bed another message came through. It was Tom.

Hope you’re feeling OK now. Don’t let her get you down x

And despite everything, for a moment I was comforted. Tom was the only person who knew what my mum was really like. She put on a convincing act for my friends who’d met her and I’d never said anything different to them, knowing they’d believe what they saw firsthand rather than what they heard from me. Though I’d talked to Harry about her, he didn’t know her, had never seen the look of frustration and hurt on my face when I was with her.

I looked at my watch. It was after eleven o’clock. I thought of Tom in our bed, lying on goose-down pillows and covered with a quilt as light as a cloud. I thought of the gray silk throw that was draped on the bedpost and the soft lights and the woolen rugs, and the en suite with its power shower for two. And then I looked around my hotel room. It was nice enough, but I was alone here. Not just alone. Homeless. Jobless.

I couldn’t help thinking I’d made the biggest mistake in the world.

CHAPTER 11

Ruby