I thought of the alternative: I knew I wouldn’t have told Harry by now. I would have pretended the sickness was from food poisoning or a bug, and then he would have panicked and come to the doctor’s with me. I knew him; he always wanted to take care of me if I wasn’t well. It was a lovely trait, but not really the kind of thing that’s useful if you’re trying to hide the fact you might be pregnant by another man.

Jane looked at the closed kitchen door then leaned forward and whispered, “Is everything okay?”

“What do you mean?” I stared at her. Had she guessed the baby might not be Harry’s? Or did she know about Ruby? Was it known at work that they were a couple?

I felt mortified at the thought of people knowing, but then she said, “Oh, nothing. I just wondered how things were between you,” and I realized I needn’t worry about that. There’s no way she’d keep quiet if she knew he was having an affair. She was my sister. I trusted her.

“They’re great,” I said. “Really great. It’s as though I’ve got the old Harry back again. And he’s so attentive. Honestly, if I make the slightest suggestion that I need something, he’s on to it.”

“You’ve got him running around after you?”

“Yes, at night I lie on the sofa and issue commands. He hasn’t disobeyed one yet.”

She laughed and said again, “So everything’s okay?” There was something in her tone then, and I knew she knew something. I just couldn’t bear to discuss it with her. I was really comfortable in this position, with my head buried deep in the sand. I didn’t want to confront things, didn’t want to talk things over with her, to be brave and honest and all of that. Talking is vastly overrated sometimes. All I wanted was a happy pregnancy, whoever the father was. I didn’t want to think about whether Harry and Ruby were having an affair and I didn’t want to think about sleeping with Tom. I just couldn’t face up to things.

So I just said, “Which names do you like?” and within seconds we were laughing and I could nearly—almost—forget what both Harry and I had done.

That night I had the best night’s sleep I’d had in months, wrapped in Harry’s arms. I felt protected. Safe.

And then Tom found me.

CHAPTER 33

Emma