Back The Closer You Get Save as PDF
Chapters (88)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for The Girl I Used to Be
  3. ALSO BY MARY TORJUSSEN
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Ruby
  7. Ruby
  8. Ruby
  9. Ruby
  10. Ruby
  11. Ruby
  12. Ruby
  13. Ruby
  14. Ruby
  15. Ruby
  16. Ruby
  17. Ruby
  18. Ruby
  19. Ruby
  20. Ruby
  21. Ruby
  22. Ruby
  23. Ruby
  24. Ruby
  25. Ruby
  26. Ruby
  27. Emma
  28. Emma
  29. Emma
  30. Emma
  31. Emma
  32. Eighteen months earlier
  33. Ruby
  34. Emma
  35. Emma
  36. Emma
  37. Emma
  38. Emma
  39. Emma
  40. Ruby
  41. Ruby
  42. Ruby
  43. Ruby
  44. Emma
  45. Ruby
  46. Ruby
  47. Ruby
  48. Ruby
  49. Ruby
  50. Ruby
  51. Emma
  52. Emma
  53. Emma
  54. Emma
  55. Ruby
  56. Ruby
  57. Ruby
  58. Ruby
  59. Ruby
  60. Emma
  61. Emma
  62. Ruby
  63. Ruby
  64. Ruby
  65. Ruby
  66. Ruby
  67. Ruby
  68. Emma
  69. Emma
  70. Ruby
  71. Ruby
  72. Ruby
  73. Ruby
  74. Emma
  75. Ruby
  76. Emma
  77. Emma
  78. Emma
  79. Ruby
  80. Ruby
  81. Ruby
  82. Ruby
  83. Ruby
  84. Ruby
  85. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  86. Readers Guide
  87. About the Author
  88. What’s next onyour reading list?

And for Rosie and Louis, love always.

Prologue

PROLOGUE

That last walk down the stairs seemed to be in slow motion. The carpet was soft and yielding beneath her feet, and she could feel the fresh gloss paint of the handrail as she clutched it for balance. The late-evening sun shone through the glass door panels, lighting the hallway in a kaleidoscope of colors, and the heavy, sweet scent of roses in the vase on the console table would stay with her forever.

Her head buzzed with pressure and for a moment there on the last few steps her vision blurred and she felt she might fall. But then the sun shifted and everything sharpened into super focus.

The body—for then she knew it was a body, and no longer alive—was twisted and lay at an awkward angle. The giveaway was the blood, though. It was coming from the ear. That’s never a good thing, is it?

Gently, she knelt and put her index and middle fingers on the carotid artery, just to the side of the windpipe. She couldn’t feel anything at all except warm, damp skin. There was no pulse of blood, no sensation of life. Again and again she pressed her fingers down, hardly knowing what she hoped for, but still there was nothing.

Her legs shaking, she scrambled to her feet, unsure what to do, when the room darkened momentarily.

Startled, she looked up.

In the hall mirror she saw the reflection of someone staring through the window at her.

She knew then they had seen everything.

CHAPTER 1

Ruby

The journey home seemed to take forever. I’d left the office early for a change, determined to get ahead of the evening rush, but still the traffic snarled to a halt within minutes. That’s not uncommon on a Friday evening, but it was usually a relief; this was the first time in years that I was impatient to be home.

It was a hot and humid summer afternoon in late June. The sky was overcast and showers threatened. The car’s air con was on full blast but my skin still prickled with sweat. The radio was on and I flicked from news channel to music as I waited for the cars ahead to move. I couldn’t find anything to focus on. My phone beeped and I glanced at the screen. It was a text from my husband, Tom.

Just left London. Back at 7 x

I read it and replied OK, then added X. I muted my phone and slid it into my handbag. I didn’t want to be disturbed: I needed to think.

Eventually the traffic started up again, with no indication of what had happened. There was no broken-down vehicle, no police cars or ambulance. Nothing but stationary traffic then a sudden release. I put my foot down on the accelerator, glad to be moving, to be on my way.

•   •   •