I swear I didn’t think about where he was standing, at the top of the stairs. All I could think of was that he would have what I wanted most. That he’d ruined my life and would be happy. He was right—I had nothing now. I felt a red mist rising and I swung my hand up to slap him. I wanted to slap him so hard. He could tell, and jerked back before I could touch him.

His hand loosened on the banister rail and I saw him try to grab it again. He took another step back but his foot couldn’t find the step. I saw him stagger back, his arms windmilling. His eyes were wild and he reached out toward me.

I could have grabbed him. I really could have.

But I didn’t.

CHAPTER 68

Ruby

It seemed to take an age before he reached the bottom of the stairs. There was a tremendous crack as he hit his head on the tiled floor. His body twisted in response.

All I could see was him. Nothing else.

I crouched by the side of him. The color had drained from his face and his eyes were closed. I was going to move him, to see if he’d come to, but one glance at his twisted body told me not to. If I moved him, I might make things worse.

I saw blood seeping from his ear and my heart beat fast in a panicky tattoo. What should I do? I knew I should call for an ambulance, but it might be too late.

And then I thought: I should take his pulse. I touched the inside of his wrist. My hands were clammy with sweat and my fingers slid on his skin. I couldn’t feel anything. I didn’t know whether I was doing it right so I felt again. Nothing. His other hand lay under him.

Panic rose in me. I thought the emergency services would want to know if he had a pulse. He looked like he was asleep. Okay, he’d clearly done some damage to his head, and his back looked so wrong, but surely that wouldn’t stop me finding a pulse? Desperately I tried to remember the training I’d had in first aid when I was in school; I remembered the teacher talking about the carotid artery but I couldn’t remember where she said it was. I pressed my fingers on the side of his neck. There was no pulse, no sensation under my fingers. I couldn’t feel anything except his cool skin.

Frantically I thought maybe I was touching the wrong side of his neck; maybe I should check the other side. I moved back and just then the light in the room changed. Suddenly it was darker.

My back was to the door. I looked up, into the long mirror that hung on the wall in the hallway.

I froze.