Back Shelf Life Save as PDF
Chapters (39)
  1. Cover
  2. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Shelf Life
  6. 04/01/2016
  7. 6 EGGS
  8. SANDWICH BREAD
  9. DIET COKE
  10. TAMPONS
  11. APPLES
  12. SUGAR
  13. DEO
  14. COTTON WOOL
  15. PIZZA
  16. WHOLE CHICKEN
  17. SPAGHETTI
  18. SOUP
  19. TOMATOES
  20. TEABAGS
  21. AFTERSHAVE
  22. WHITE WINE
  23. PRAWNS
  24. OLIVES
  25. MOBILE TOP-UP
  26. STRAWBERRIES
  27. HONEY
  28. MOISTURIZER
  29. DATES
  30. FLOWERS
  31. CONDITIONER
  32. SINGLE CREAM
  33. PULSES
  34. STEAK (LEAN)
  35. BLEACH
  36. SOME KIND OF PUDDING
  37. A Girl
  38. 11:09 04/01/2017
  39. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

not even the guy from the internet. ok listen its *fine* i can give you more time its not like i have a queue at my door, and its kinda okay if you keep on sweet talking me dont mind that *at all*. here i was thinking you were just some guy whod found a cute angle to ask for a pasta discount. turns out im some kind of mediterranean charm on a power trip who makes grown men listen to love songs on repeat. wow. idk dude real sorry to burst your bubble but lili stands for lillian, which is just as old fashioned as your average british grandma. also my dad’s portuguese but ive not even met him. i grew up in lincolnshire with mum. but y’know what mate like i say its not too bad to be complimented. by all means do keep at it. ill tell you what else is good about you. all this talk of being true to yourself in a way is really helping. like it hits the spot. like i kinda thought this guy’s spewing a lot of bullshit at first but then i keep coming back to it. ive reread your emails a bunch cuz its nice to have someone motivate you and say good things about you and your work. even if you take a million years to get to the point. even if most of the things you tell me arent even true, i appreciate you taking the time, man, and anyway im only 20. plenty of time to become a badass CEO bitch. cannot wait.