You spoke in your message about how hard it is to navigate dating and about feeling pressured by the expectations of others. I can really relate to what you are saying. Dating websites have long perplexed me and I only caved into them after long thought. I still have mixed feelings – though I accept that they have quickly become a pervasive tool for seeking new relationships (of many kinds, also). In no way do I mean to condemn any means that a human being might choose to employ to connect with other humans. But I am uneasy. It doesn’t seem like a very holistic approach and I cannot cope with the predatory aspects. Much like yourself. I have an annoying junior partner who loves to corner me in the office kitchen to discuss our dating lives. I am sure that he – like your workmates – means well. Camaraderie: the process of bonding among males via sharing the edited, grandiose details of one’s sexual endeavours. (Simple creatures, us men, aren’t we? Well, some of us are.) He is young, inexperienced and new to the firm. Sharp, well dressed, always freshly shaven. He probably looks up to me as someone who might pass on some knowledge about the facts of life. I know I used to feel that way about my superiors and I can tell that not knowing half as much about me as I do about him frustrates him, puts him on edge. Still, he tries. He gets out his phone and shows me his Tinder matches: ‘Fit bird, yeah?’ he says. Something like that. Normally I would try to give him something back: I know he, too, just wants to be liked. But I find his manner unnerving – his persistence, also. I can’t help but feel that he is using me to validate his own compulsion. And all these girls look the same to me, caked in tanning lotion, paralysed in their bikinis on tropical beaches. I used to work for a travel agency in my twenties and I hated it. That’s what the photos make me think of. It’s all very business-like: not unlike sourcing clients’ profiles, like I do, or serving customers, like you. This isn’t about that, is it? You and me, right? We’ve had enough of that.

Claudius (look him up, fascinating)

kittenwithasledgehammer

Sent: 19/11/2015 – 02:40

Dear Clay Who Began the Conquest of Britain (did my homework, happy?)

maybe we’ll settle for clay what do you think? by far least creepy nickname so far.