Here we go, I thought. I turned around and rested my bottom against the cupboard. Let the tap fill up the sink. Ready for your lecture. I put on my usual smile. I never learn. I’m seldom smug about my intuition, but when I am I always get it wrong.

I gave you a visible nod, so you knew to continue.

Your lips were a line. You needed my help and I was eager to offer it. That’s how it worked for us.

‘What is it?’ I nudged.

‘Nothing we haven’t talked about before, to be honest.’

‘So what is it? What’s your revelation?’

‘About love. Relationships. The idea of a couple, I guess.’

‘The idea of a couple?’

‘Let me speak first.’

‘Oh, come on,’ I said. ‘We’ve talked about this, haven’t we?’

I didn’t get angry. And you didn’t look angry either. I can tell when you’re about to get angry. I turned off the tap.

‘We have,’ you said. ‘I just said.’

‘And we’re not discussing the possibility of an open relationship again.’

‘I’m not trying to discuss an open relationship.’

‘That’s good. Because we’ve discussed it enough times, I think.’

I looked at the white gold ring on the side, deliberately, so that you’d have to look at it too. When you did, I turned back to the sink, picked up a plate and began to scrub.

‘It’s different for me,’ you said.

‘Is it?’ Your hand on my hip made me jump. I turned back around.

‘Listen to me, babe,’ you said. ‘I’m serious about this.’

‘You’re always serious about everything,’ I said. ‘Until you get tired of it.’

‘We’re too good for this, Ruth.’

‘Too good for what?’

‘This conversation. I mean, look at us.’

‘Us? We’re fine. Aren’t we?’

‘Yes,’ you said.

‘Well then.’

Wherever this was going, I didn’t like it. I had stuff to do, stuff to get done. I pushed you to the side and opened the drawer, pushed aside the candle stumps and the empty matchboxes. Found a tea towel, looked at you. You were quiet. You looked sad. I hate it when you look sad. I drew you into me with my elbows because my gloves were dirty and wet and I didn’t want to ruin your shirt.

‘What is it, baby?’ I said. That note of desperation in my voice. I hadn’t intended that. We were fine. Hadn’t you just said so yourself? But the atmosphere in the kitchen had shifted. I clutched at your hips but your arms stayed put along the sides of your body. You rested your chin on the top of my head.

‘Well, I’m just trying to say that … I’ve been thinking. You know what I’m like. That we all have this great love there inside of us.’