I am hugely indebted to my agent, Zoe Ross, who believed in this novel fiercely from the beginning and pointed out the way, and to my editor, Lizzy Goudsmit, whose sensitive advice and genial intuition made it the best book I was able to write. Thank you, Alison Barrow, Bella Bosworth, Emma Burton, Sharika Teelwah, Antonia Whitton and the whole team at Doubleday/Transworld for making me feel right at home.

I am grateful to Sophie Collins and Wendy Jones, for taking my writing seriously, and to Tim Parnell, Jack Underwood and the English and Comparative Literature department at Goldsmiths, for putting faith in me and my research. A huge thank you goes to Alice Ash, Claudia Durastanti and Dizz Tate, for being this book’s three Good Fairies and my best role models.

This novel owes a lot to the women in my life. I am especially grateful to Charlotte Heather, for her unending support and real companionship, and to Sandra Neuburger and Caterina Pinzauti for teaching me everything about girls and friendship. Thank you, Anjalie Joseph, my number one, my compass. Thank you, Su Pereira, Sandra Rutten and Eilidh Urquhart, my warm-blooded sisters. Thank you to Khairani Barokka, Serena Braida, Emily Cooper, Sophie Corser, Marzia D’Amico, Silvia Della Porta, Tamsin Murray-Leach, Rebecca Tamás, May-Lan Tan, Francine Toon and Chrissy Williams for the gift of their intimate and literary friendships.

I owe a lot to the creative communities that have protected me over the years, allowing me space and time to grow: Zamenhof Factory, DIY Space for London and their brilliant associates – my beautiful friends, I love you. There’s a chance I might still owe money on a Martini or two to famous local establishment La Tazza D’Oro – sorry.

Of course, I am most indebted to my family – both blood-related and acquired – and especially to my small and powerful grandmother, Maria Luisa Lavaggi; I am forever humbled by your tenacity and generosity. Thank you so much for supporting me, always.

Dario Franchini e Isabella Moretti, mamma e babbo: I suspect I’ll never find the right words to express how thankful I am to have been born your daughter, but I promise I’ll keep looking for them.

Francesco can have my green heart.

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The ‘grief booklet’ Ruth reads from in ‘Apples’ (on pages 39 and 43–5) is based on the ‘5 stages of grief’ model devised by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (2014), NY, New York: Scribner. The TEAR model (on pages 46–7) is drawn from J. William Worden, Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (2008), NY, New York: Springer Publishing.

‘Lili Marlene’ is a song written by Hans Leip and Norbert Schultze, famously sung by Marlene Dietrich. The lyrics to ‘Wishin’ And Hopin’’, as sung by Dusty Springfield, were written by Hal David and Burt Bacharach.