‘That’s why we call it a punch,’ says one of the waiters.

‘Get it?’ says the other.

We burst out laughing and when they return with a new shot paddle we’re still laughing about them.

‘Oh,’ says Alanna, voice soft like a kitten’s belly. ‘Is this another drink you invented?’

‘Now, ladies,’ says the taller boy, tallest by an inch perhaps, but we can only tell them apart because this one is consistently eager to talk. We can imagine them discussing the terms of this interaction beforehand: claiming the right to speak to the ladies first, for the simple reason that of the two he is tallest. These are simple creatures. ‘Now, ladies,’ the taller one says. ‘This drink is called a Sasha Grey. Who knows who or what a Sasha Grey is? For a free shot!’

‘I thought they were all free shots,’ I observe.

‘She means paid for,’ clarifies Bex.

We’re pretending not to know that Sasha Grey is a famous porn star. Emmy takes the bullet by pretending to fall for it. ‘Let me guess, boys,’ she says. ‘Is it a cock-tail?’ She clicks her tongue on the hard K. The boys are obviously elated. They begin to giggle.

Mona doesn’t get it, though not for want of trying. She picks up on the sexual tension but blanks on the cultural reference. She doesn’t care. She slides in with her elbows on the table, cowgirl-like. ‘So, are you going to show us your Sasha?’

The boys lose their composure. They are howling with laughter. They’d roll on the floor like dogs if they had freedom to move in those lackey outfits.

‘What?’ snaps Mona, and her tone shuts them up.

Emmy pulls her in by the strap of her bra. ‘Let me show you,’ she says. She pulls Mona into the crook of her arm and to the side of the table. They huddle in the light from the touchscreen. Mona gives a small genuine yelp and recoils from the device.

When her fingertips make contact with the sticky gloss on her lips she composes herself. ‘Oh my, dirty boys,’ Mona or Jessica whispers in an unmotherly rasp.

And the boys happily pour chocolate liqueur into the thick bottom of the shot glass, and then another liqueur and then whipped cream: truly a nasty, deranged concoction.