I step sideways to avoid a deep crack in the pavement. I think of the pages of advice in my bedside drawer. They have helped me, haven’t they? I’ve been anxious lately, worrying so stupidly about Charlie again, but I can cope with that, can’t I, with the help of those pages? ‘Ten,’ I say again. ‘I’m sure that would be a ten.’

And yet my voice sounds really shaky.

‘And … on a scale of one to ten, how much do you feel you’ve improved as a result of the input? One for “not at all”; ten, “a great deal”.’

‘Oh …’ This hill seems so much steeper than normal, I can’t believe how hard it feels to climb. ‘Ten,’ I tell her, just like for all the others. Ten ten ten.

‘Well, that’s great,’ Freya is saying. ‘I’m very pleased to hear that. I won’t keep you much longer, I just needed to run through these, but that’s pretty much everything now really, except …’

‘Except what?’

‘Oh …’ Freya hesitates. ‘It was just … I wasn’t even sure if I should mention this. I hope you don’t think I’m crossing a line.’

I don’t care. I don’t mind. She can cross all the lines she wants. ‘How do you mean?’

‘Margaret presented your case in our team meeting – we discuss all the cases for the whole team, every week. She mentioned … that a woman had died in one of your flats. That you were trying to find out what happened. Margaret sort of skipped over the whole thing, but I thought, my God, that must have been awful for you. I mean, I can’t imagine the shock of it all.’

Suddenly, I can feel something wet at the side of my nose, and I try to pretend that it’s only the wind making my eyes run, but honestly, I know that it’s not. I can’t remember when someone last thought about me like this, putting themselves in my shoes, expressing such honest concern for how I feel. I never let anyone get close enough to ask, and Freya only called for some questionnaire data, she doesn’t even know me, but she’s already understood. I’m nearly at the top of the hill now, so close to home, yet suddenly the words come tumbling out of me, as though Freya’s kind voice has opened up a channel.

‘Freya? The woman … my tenant … She had this table … these three plates set out, she was expecting … somebody, friends, guests, but no one came and I don’t understand what happened. So I’m trying to trace friends of hers, anyone who might know. I was just trying to get answers but now everything seems to be such a mess, and I’m not sure I’m coping as well as I should …’