Freya. ‘Yes,’ I tell her. ‘I remember. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. I did get your voicemail, but … there’s been a lot going on.’ I press a hand to my temple where a deep ache is growing.

‘That’s all right.’ Freya’s voice down the line is warm and friendly, like a little anchor grounding me. ‘I always planned to ring you again.’

‘You said you’re a support worker?’

She hesitates. ‘Well yes,’ she says slowly. ‘For now. But I’m only going to be here a few more months. I’ve got a place to train as a clinical psychologist.’

‘A psychologist?’ I picture the psychologist I saw last year. She was so kindly. The tarmac under me feels a little more solid.

‘Yes. It’s been … very competitive. It’s taken me a long time to get on the course. But it’s happening now and it’s really very important to me. To help people. Honestly, that’s all I really want to do.’

‘Oh,’ I say. ‘Well, that’s good. That’s great. Sorry – you called about … a questionnaire?’

‘Oh yes,’ she says. ‘It’s a bit of a new thing. More data they want to collect, but it shouldn’t take more than a minute or two. Is that okay? I’m not interrupting you with anything else?’

‘No,’ I reply. ‘I’m just … heading home.’ As I say that, I get to my feet. It’s far too cold to sit out here. ‘I can answer the questions while I walk, if that’s okay?’ Even though my legs feel wobbly, as though I’m crashing from an adrenaline high.

‘Yes, that’s perfect. If you sure you’re okay with that? All right … well then … first question. On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied are you with how quickly your referral to the team was processed? One is “very unsatisfied”. Ten is “very satisfied”.’

‘Ten,’ I tell her. When my GP saw the state I was in, panic attacks happening daily by then, she didn’t wait around and neither did they.

‘Ten … Okay. That’s good. That’s great. Um … question two. On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied were you with the convenience of your appointment? One is “very unsatisfied”. Ten is “very satisfied”.’

There’s a roar in my ear as the wind gets into the phone’s microphone. I hope she can still hear me. I want to give good answers, the best answers. I want to let her know I’ve appreciated the help. ‘Ten,’ I tell her again.

‘Yep, okay. Good. So, question three. How useful did you find the input you were given? One is “not at all useful” and ten “extremely useful”.’