The sting, when it comes, feels far away and faint. Moments later a mugginess sweeps over her, thickening her tongue, her throat. Distantly – so distantly – Sarah knows what is happening. She knows how dangerous this is. But here and now, all she knows is that the door of her flat is opening and a man and woman are stepping inside. They have come. They’re here. She is drifting, everything around her is fading, but here and now there’s a lovely mother and father with her, just the way she’s always wanted.

A perfect moment she has created. A perfect Make-Believe of a life.

And nothing to wake her up from the dream.

Chapter 39

After just two hours, the coroner reaches her conclusion. An open verdict. She is satisfied, she tells us, that there was no foul play: so much of the evidence points towards natural causes. Only there is not quite enough evidence to rule more conclusively. And so, that is her finding on the cause of death: an open verdict. And it is not her job to go much further than that.

Around me, I’m aware of people getting up and leaving the courtroom. And yet I find myself unable to move.

‘I just need a minute,’ I tell Alastair, and quietly he slips away. I will get up in just one second – it’s not long until I have to collect Charlie from school – but I need a moment. At some level, I already know what I must do. It feels as though this has been the point of this whole journey. Maybe, in the end, that was why I was the one to find Sarah. It’s maybe why from the start I needed so badly to know what had happened. I almost lost my mind on the way, almost sacrificed my health in the process. But maybe I had to walk through that fire, that long dark tunnel to reach this point.

At last I stand, my legs stiff, and make my way out of the courthouse into the pale April sunshine. Alastair and Marianne are waiting for me outside. And Freya too.

Freya steps forward. I can tell at once that there is something she wants to say to me. I let her approach, and push my hands into my pockets, waiting to hear what she has to say.

‘You were right.’ Her words are quiet but direct. ‘And I just want you to know, I’m not working with the team any more. I’m not going to pursue a psychology career. I can’t do it. It wouldn’t be right. Not after everything I did.’

I look at her, and meet her eyes. ‘You told me that you wanted to help people. But you do that by giving them the truth. Instead you tried to mess with my reality too.’

‘I know,’ she says. ‘I know that. And I’m really going to change.’