Chapter 30

After my run-in with Freya, I work solidly right through lunchtime, trying to get on top of everything with all my boxes ticked, but somehow the work seems a slippery pile. I can’t quite seem to keep track of where I am up to or what I’m supposed to be doing. It takes such a mental effort to get everything in order.

At twelve o’clock, the school lunchtime, I call and ask for Ms Simmons. When she comes on the line, I tell her I need to check on Charlie. ‘He was a bit … poorly over the weekend. I just need to know if … he seems all right.’

Ms Simmons’s reply is tinged with surprise. ‘He was poorly? Well, today he honestly seems right as rain.’ A little silence hangs. ‘Was there something particular you were worried about?’

I hesitate. Assume things are fine. ‘No … No, thank you, I just needed to check. But you’re saying he’s fine?’

‘Yes …’

I feel stupid, but I can’t not say it. ‘But if there was anything … anything you’d noticed —’

Ms Simmons’s voice is direct now, a tiny bit impatient. ‘We’d always let you know if there were any concerns.’

‘Yes. Yes, of course, thank you.’

Clumsily, I make myself hang up.

At one o’clock, I go downstairs to collect the post, holding tight to the banister as I navigate the steep steps. There are various letters that come in to the office, most of them routine, occasionally one that’s harder to deal with: a complaint, a bill from a plumber that’s ended up far steeper than expected, some government notice of some policy change.

This afternoon there’s the usual collection, plus one addressed directly to me. I carry the whole stack carefully back upstairs and go in to give Abayomi the ones he needs to deal with.

Then I take that one letter back into my and Emma’s office.

It’s a plain envelope, with my name and office address handwritten, in neat block capitals. With my thumb I prise it open. The envelope is thicker than I realized, and the flap slices the edge of my thumb. It’s a small cut, but deep, and it bleeds badly. I should go to the bathroom and get a paper towel to stop the bleeding, but I don’t. I just curl my thumb into my palm and try to stem the blood that way.