I think of Sophie Darling in particular who I’ve become so close to. We have everything in common, even if our upbringings were poles apart. She’s a former professional dancer, a violinist, and oozes creativity. She lost her only sister to a sudden illness when she was a teenager and has never got over it, so she understands exactly the ties I have with my family since Matthew’s accident.

I’ve created a very full life with Jack. We have the full package.

‘I can’t throw this all away for some whimsical idea of a life with Tom that I don’t even know is real any more,’ I whisper.

Emily takes two cups from the frosted-glass cupboard, pops a teabag into each and fills them with steaming hot water from the kettle as I stare out through the sash windows again.

‘If it wasn’t real, you wouldn’t react like that over seeing a photo of him in a magazine, would you?’ she says. She hands me a cup after squeezing out the teabag and adding a dash of milk. ‘And he wouldn’t be still texting you when he’s drunk or lonely or both.’

I know she has a point.

‘Just saying,’ she continues, ‘but if I thought Kevin reacted in any way over a picture of an ex, I’d be having second thoughts about our relationship. I’d much rather he let me go than go on living a lie.’

I hold the cup with both hands, blow into it then take a soothing drink that warms me and settles my insides.

‘Would you like it if it was the other way round with you and Jack?’ she asks me to drive her point home. ‘Would you like it if seeing an ex hurt Jack as much as it hurts you?’

I go to speak but she does so for me.

‘Please don’t live a lie, Charlotte, love,’ she tells me. ‘For goodness’ sake, don’t ever live a lie. Look what doing just that did to our Matthew. It’s not worth it.’

I also know that for Matthew’s health and for the sake of his future progress, I don’t really have a choice. But am I living a lie?