‘Charlotte, I’m lost here,’ Jack says to me in bewilderment. ‘If it’s so important that it’s made you look sick and pale, you’re going to have to slow down a bit and tell me this in some sort of chronological order. The song? What about it? Was it for you?’

I take a deep breath through my nose and then exhale long and slowly through my mouth, just like Jack had taught me to whenever I was feeling panicky or shaken at work.

‘Yes, Jack. The song he sang about missing someone and trying to get over them was about me,’ I tell him. ‘I was the one who broke Tom Farley’s heart, Jack, and he broke mine at the time too.’

Again, he looks like he is somewhat relieved at first. He exhales as if I’ve just lifted a ton of bricks from his shoulders.

‘Wow. Really? Is that it?’

I keep going.

‘Not really,’ I say. ‘The day of Matthew’s accident in Loughisland … remember I told you we had been discussing a mutual friend and how Matthew flipped? Well, I’d told Matthew how Tom and I were planning to be together. Turns out Matthew was in love with Tom too at one stage and it drove him crazy. Jack, it’s my fault that my brother is in a wheelchair.’

‘It’s what?’

‘Mine and Tom Farley’s,’ I continue, ‘and I’ve been living with the guilt ever since. I stayed here for Matt and I let Tom go, but I never wanted to, Jack. He didn’t want to leave me and I didn’t want to leave him. And, ever since that day, I’ve wondered if letting him go was the right decision.’

Chapter Twenty

Jack sits with his head in his hands. The clock ticks on the wall behind him, making a poignant yet eerie sound to break the silence as I wait for him to speak.

‘You know, at first I wasn’t even upset about this,’ he says, every word already sounding like glass breaking on my ears. ‘There’s no big issue at all that you’ve a past with this man, or even that he wrote you a song – because let’s face it, he’s pretty darn good at that. It’s his job.’

I know there’s a ‘but’ coming.

I’m right.

‘But what really is eating at me right now is how you went along with us going there last night knowing you had this pretty big history with him and you didn’t even say. It’s like you’ve something else to hide?’

For a split second I thought that Jack was going to just shake this all off, but of course he isn’t. I’ve made a fool out of him and a liar out of me.