Tom doesn’t pause this time. He just comes straight out with it without giving it a second thought and his voice is one of relief.

‘Yes,’ he says. ‘I did think that, but he would never admit it to me, Charlie.’

‘Oh my God!’

‘I couldn’t ask him,’ says Tom. ‘I was so afraid in case I’d got it wrong! I’ve wondered about this for years, torturing myself, but all I did was watch him break up everything that meant so much to him. Did I do the wrong thing by not asking? I should have asked him.’

I shake my head as if Tom is here to see me now. I want to scream at my brother for being so unnecessarily secretive for all these years, yet I want to cry for him at the confusion he must have been feeling. He’s thirty-two years old! Why on earth has he been hiding this for so long, living a lie and not telling me or Emily or Mam or Dad how he really was? We would only have loved him more, but this? This is an awful mess now.

‘I think he was going to tell me earlier today in the village pub,’ I explain to Tom as it all clicks into place. ‘He was in such high spirits. He told me he’d met someone and he’d lots of good stuff coming up, but then when I mentioned your name he freaked a bit, then stormed out into the car and had a really bad accident. He’s in hospital, Tom.’

‘Ah, Jesus.’

‘He’s critically ill and we’re waiting to hear from the doctors just how bad things are. I just can’t believe this is all happening.’

I hear Tom gasp and allow him a moment for this to sink in. Matthew let his feelings for Tom ruin a record deal with the band they’d all worked so hard for, his own mental health suffered immensely and the whole thing kept me and Tom apart when we both were thinking the same thing all along. We wanted to be together. We wanted to give it a try. But Matthew wanted him too. I wasn’t the only one who fell in love with Tom Farley all those years ago.

‘What a mess,’ Tom whispers. ‘Imagine the pain of hiding who you really are all your life, living a lie and pretending to be someone you’re not, Charlie. I feel so sorry for him but he’s going to pull through this, isn’t he? Matthew’s a strong spirit, he won’t let this beat him. He’s going to be OK, I just know it.’