I check the time. It’s just after nine thirty in the evening. Still no sign of Ana, not that Tom seems to give a shit. Alternatively, I have two messages from Jack from the other side of the world who wants to know how I am, but I’m too afraid to respond, terrified he’ll know I’m here in Howth with Tom even though I know that it’s impossible he would. I’ve betrayed him enough by coming here. I’ve made a fool of myself, but I can’t drive home now. I hate this horrible world of booze and strangers and I certainly don’t want to be part of Tom Farley’s harem. My brother was absolutely right when he said I’d always just be one of his conquests, even if he did bag a hit single out of our love story.

I make my way out of the bathroom onto a tiny narrow corridor that leads back into the main bar, when I stop, having come face to face with Tom alone at last. My heart jumps.

‘Tom!’

I’m about to say I’m going to go home but he interrupts me.

‘You having a good time, honey?’ he asks me, swaying a little with a beer in his hand. He’s obviously already forgotten our latest ‘bullshit’ conversation. ‘Ana is here now. You’ll probably hate her but don’t judge her just because she’s pissed at me. She’s a good girl. She’s just sometimes a bit misunderstood.’

He scrunches up his face and belly laughs at his own attempt at a joke.

‘Look, Tom, maybe I made a mistake coming here and crashing your party,’ I tell him, feeling like I’m speaking to one of my errant pupils. ‘But I’m glad I did because I think I’ve finally got all the answers I need from you about us – not that of course there is an “us”. I don’t even expect you to understand what I mean, but I guess you duped me with your song. I was so stupid to think—’

Tom laughs even harder now.