Chapters (73)
- Rabbit Hole
- Also by Mark Billingham
- Title Page
- Copyright
- Dedication
- Epigraph
- Preface
- PART ONE
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- PART TWO
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- Back Cover
I reckon a match-up between the ward’s two healthcare assistants would give the crowd a better spectacle and certainly a longer one. Malaika’s Indian, same as Dr Bakshi, only with a really thick Brummie accent. Pure Peaky Blinders, Malaika is, but with a better haircut (red streaks which look cool) and without the hidden razor blades. Trust me, none of the people who work in here are a soft touch, but she’s definitely not the strictest. If you’re watching something on TV, she’ll maybe let you have another ten minutes after you’re supposed to be in bed, and if you were on escorted leave and she took you outside for a cigarette, she wouldn’t rush you back in the second you’d stubbed it out. She’s a smoker herself, so she’s always happy enough to go with you.
Malaika’s pretty tight with George, always whispering in corners, and for a while, I thought there was something going on between them. Then I found out she was gay – it was actually George that told me – so I let my overly fertile imagination run riot in other ways. It’s fun to make things up about the staff, invent weird and wonderful private lives for them. Like Malaika probably had quite a strict upbringing, maybe an arranged marriage she got herself out of, so now, when she’s not at work, she’s wild and into all sorts. Death-metal and coke and stuff. I know she’s got a temper on her, too, because I heard her arguing about something with Debbie the other day.
I wonder how she’ll fare, toe to toe in the arena with the Polish Punisher.
Mia would probably be popular with the crowd. She’s got spiky blonde hair and a cute accent and she’s pretty, but if I’m honest she’s a bit of a black hole, personality-wise. She doesn’t socialise much, by which I mean she never ‘hangs out’ or tells you anything about her life outside Fleet Ward. She probably thinks she’s being smart, because some of her colleagues who have let things slip have paid for it later on. Thing is, that just means we make it up, like I did with Malaika. So, Mia . . . definitely some kind of dominatrix on the side, and that’s not as much of a leap as you might think. Sometimes I catch her staring at some of the other patients, when she doesn’t know she’s being watched, and once or twice I’ve seen that pretty face looking seriously cruel.
Malaika versus Mia. Result: a much trickier one to call, and Mia’s a bit of a dark horse, but my gut says Malaika would probably come out on top.