Debbie’s very Scottish and very ginger, but more important . . . she’s big. Not big like Lauren’s big, but like she could easily bench-press Bakshi if she had to. Or me, come to that. If something kicks off between any of the female patients, it’s likely to be Debbie who’ll come steaming in to sort it out. Actually, most of the blokes in here are more scared of Debbie than any of the male members of staff, even Tony, who’s still not convinced she isn’t the Thing and always gives her a wide berth. She’s loud and rude and she’s ridiculously sweary.

It’s one of the reasons I thought that Kevin’s room, after the murder, must have been a proper horror-show. Debbie’s scared of bugger all and she was the one that found him, remember. She came bombing out of that corridor like she’d stumbled into the Texas chainsaw massacre.

I mean, I know better now, obviously.

I’m teaming Debbie and Bakshi up to take on George, who’s another one of the nurses. He’s the ward’s gentle giant, and yeah, I’m being just a bit sarcastic. I’m not saying he’s rough when he doesn’t need to be, but let’s just say he’s well aware that he’s a big lad. Holding himself back, like he’d love nothing more than for Ilias or Tony to have a pop at him. He’s got a proper Geordie accent and of course he’s a Newcastle fan, which I take every chance to wind him up about. Telling him that clearly means he’s madder than anyone in here.

He told me once he always wanted to be a copper, but they wouldn’t let him join, and that made me wonder just what George might have got up to when he was younger. I mean, these days they’ll let any nutcase in.

So, first up then, it’s Bakshi and Debbie versus George. Result: even with two against one, and despite the fact that Debbie would probably fight dirty, George is the only winner here, taking the pair of them out inside the first thirty seconds. Quick and ugly.