Shaking my head at him, I opened the door to my car. “And people say I’m whipped,” I muttered.

Evan laughed as he opened the other door. “That’s ‘cause you are, Kell. We all are,” he sighed. Then he frowned. “Well, except for Jackass. He’s gonna be a problem on the road. You know that, right?”

I frowned as I leaned over the car. “Yeah…Matt still has that 12 pack of duct tape, right?”

Evan grinned. “Oh yeah. He’s already got it packed.”

“Thank God,” I laughed. At least there was a hint of some fun in our future. Maybe this wouldn’t be the nightmare I thought it was going to be. Maybe, like Evan said, everything really would be okay. Maybe.

Thinking about all the good times coming my way with my band genuinely brightened my mood as I drove us back to Evan’s loft. If it were possible to take my worry about Kiera out of the equation, this upcoming tour really was what Evan had said—an experience of a lifetime. A dream come true. Traveling around the country with my best friends, playing shows almost every night, singing my heart out to the fans, watching them fall apart. Laughing, drinking, playing…it was almost all of the stuff that I loved to do, rolled up in one. I’d just have to do all of it without the single most important person in my life. I’d have to leave her behind, doing God knows what without me.

But I needed to stop thinking about that. Focus on the good stuff, Kellan. Not the shit you’re afraid of.

Forcing the disturbing thoughts out of my head, I focused instead on something positive. Anything positive. We were about to have a great time. I could picture it—the four of us, clowning around on the bus, driving each other crazy, picking on each other, dying laughing… It really was going to be fun. Just…not for all of us. Our girls were going to be miserable while we were gone. At least…I thought they would be sad.