Her grin grew. “Smart. That’s one of the reasons I only talk to the lead singer of the band. I want to see what he or she will do with the information. It’s a skill that can’t really be taught. Being the leader, you have to know your band. Know what to give them and know what to keep from them. It can be a very fine line. You’re so young, and yet…you already knew exactly what to do to protect them, and you’re strong enough to hide things from them, help them shine. You never cease to amaze me.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Does that mean…?”

Her smile never changed. “It’s not entirely up to me. But you definitely have my vote. You belong with Vivasec. I need to run this up the flagpole. I’ll let you know what they decide. Excellent work, Kellan. You should be very proud.”

She walked away and I just stood there, staring at the spot she’d been. She said yes…Holy fuck, she said yes… I felt like I should tell someone. Hell, I felt like I should scream it at the top of my lungs, but…it wasn’t a for-sure thing yet. It could still go south, could still fall apart. I didn’t want to give the guys false hope. I had to keep it inside a little longer, just in case someone higher up said no. And so, the secrets had to continue. Damn it.

Chapter 24

AM I DREAMING?

I was a ball of anxious energy waiting to hear the final word from Lana. I just wanted to either tell the guys some good news or let this whole fucking thing go so I could move on with my life. But the longer it took for Lana to get back to me, the more I started feeling something else…something darker. Rejection. Failure. It was taking so long…clearly, they were going to say no. I’d done everything I could, but it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t enough. It was such a familiar feeling, and it wrapped around me so easily, it was hard to shake. I’m glad I didn’t tell the guys, so they don’t have to feel this too.

“Dude, you okay?”

I was sitting on a couch backstage, blankly staring at a full cup of beer in my hands. I hadn’t taken a sip of it yet, and I could tell from my fingers it was warm now. Shaking off my thoughts, I looked up to see Griffin staring at me, a weird mixture of concern and confusion on his face. I tossed on a smile. “Yeah, just tired…zoning.”