Kiera nodded and waited. I stood in front of her for a second, feeling the heaviness of weariness settle around me. God, I was so used to feeling that way now…exhausted to the core. I ran a hand down my face, wishing I remembered what it felt like to be unburdened. Shaking my head, I started at the beginning. “Back in December, a girl came up to me backstage.”

All of the blood drained from Kiera’s face. I knew what she was thinking, and I knew I shouldn’t have said it that way, but it was the only way I could begin. Gently. Softly. I hated seeing Kiera’s pain, so I made myself continue. She wouldn’t hurt for long. But I would. “She told me…”

My throat went dry, and I swallowed to relieve the ache. Kiera’s expression changed during my pause, like she’d just realized the truth. Seeing it filled me with hope. Maybe I wouldn’t have to say it, maybe she’d just know. But then she said, “She told you that you have a child…right? Sometime in your life, you weren’t safe…and now, somewhere out there, you’ve got a kid.”

My hope vanished as she got it wrong. She still thought this was about sex. About a woman I’d been with, either past or present. But it wasn’t. Not at all. It was so much worse. For me, at least. I’d almost prefer it if this had been about a child. But then I saw the sadness on Kiera’s face, the despair in her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. For her, a child with another woman was the nightmare. Did she want to be the first to have my kid? The only one to have my children? I wanted that too, and she could still have that…if she didn’t leave me.

Squatting in front of her, I cupped her cheek and assuaged her fears. “No, Kiera…that’s not it at all.” With a sigh, I rested my head against hers. “There isn’t a miniature version of me out there anywhere, Kiera…okay?”

She swiped her fingers under her eyes, looking more confused than ever. “Then what is it, Kellan? Because I really don’t understand.”

I hated this, hated the pain I was causing her, hated the pain I was causing myself. I sat back on my heels with my head down. “I know you don’t. And I know it seems like I’m hiding an affair…” I looked up at her, hoping against hope that she could just see the answer—the right answer. You know me better than anyone. Please. See the truth. “Do you really not see, knowing what you know about me, what might make me…lie to you?”