Holding tight to the fury, I sped home. The growl of my car matched my mood, and I was reluctant to shut off the engine when I got to my driveway. I would hang out here for a few hours, then go to the airport and rejoin the guys…and never come back to this fucking city again. The guys and I would go to L.A. to record the album, and I would just fucking stay there. I’d stay in L.A., I’d focus on work, and I’d forget all about that two-timing bitch. You can have her, Denny. Fuck. You lied to me too…you deserve each other.

Shutting off the car, I ripped my keys out of the ignition. I’d have to have someone bring my car to me. Hire someone. Or maybe Evan would do it for me. Whatever. It didn’t fucking matter how, as long as she got to me. My car, my baby…the only “girl” I could count on.

I stroked the steering wheel, silently apologizing for beating the shit out of her again, then I opened the door and got out. My house seemed to mock me as I stepped up to it, and I could almost see my dad in the doorway, smirking at me. “Told you it wouldn’t last.” I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off, then shut it. He wasn’t actually here. I didn’t need to add insanity to my list of problems.

Unlocking my front door, I debated torching the place when I left. That sounded really cathartic. And hazardous for my too-close neighbors. I’d sell it instead…then torch the money. That would work too. Fuck all of you.

I slammed my door once I was inside, then debated doing it again. I wanted to hit something, release the rage inside me, but I knew releasing it would let all the other feelings slip inside, and I didn’t want to feel them. I had to let this anger simmer, fester, boil. I didn’t think I could even drink this away, but I headed to the kitchen anyway. I paced in front of my fridge, flicking glances at the cupboard that held my alcohol. I could drown myself into oblivion, or I could accidentally dull my armor and allow myself to slip into despair. It could go either way, and that fear kept me from trying. All I wanted to feel was hate.